........ will work for figs.........

 Darcy  whats your specialty?
Sorry had to ask in a fun way,

 it stinks getting a lousy crop after all the hard work and anticipation.

Darcy
Yes, I need help with figs. We will share the crop half-&-half just like we will share the job.
I will bring the fig crop to healthy quarter size green fruits and you will take over from there to have them ripen before the frost. We can discuss off-line other conditions such as insurance deposit for completion of your part of the job.

Look out Darcy, it's a trap:-)

Darcy is doing better, now.

Dieseler, I am a Jill of all trades.... Ottawan, I would take up your offer if you lived closer..... Xgrndpounder, I think you are right... Yes, thank you Jon.  The figs were a wonderful treat!