So, yeah I'm an old f&^% at 58 but I still love having my mom visit. We have finally learned to be friends. It took over 50 years and we have to actively work at it but we both believe it's a task worth doing. My early years were hard on her as she didn't understand my choices, but now we try for that unconditional love crap everyone talks about.

As I'm still recovering from a serious illness and subsequent  car accident (I was on my way to the hospital - bam - hit and run!) --Still no info from the State Police. Oh well gonna now have to fight Anthem about who should pay -- aarrgghh. Another thread some day - perhaps.
Ooops - the point - mom was concerned so she drove 10 hours at her age to come check on me. Solid. What a babe.

I can't do anything but push the walker around one floor for the 3 hours I'm allowed out of bed, but that time is cherished as we watch movies or -- yeah I know -- but I love her anyway -- Fox news -- or as I call it faux news and chat about what we want to accomplish in what's left of our lives. Mom's time get's pulled by the others in our family whenever she leaves her new hubby and home in Charleston SC, and I know she's really in love and misses her new main squeeze and is only here because she needs to know I'm OK --- no amount of phone calls can tell you this when a loved one is hurt and or really sick. Unfortunately the idiots at the ER called her instead of my friend Eric - something to think about on your phone's autodial.

And she shows up with one of those idiotic robot vacuum cleaners so I don't have to breath dog and cat hairs, etc. What a crack up. The damn thing just spends all it's time trying not to get stuck or fall down the steps, etc. and i find the whole thing just amusing as hell except it reminds me of a tick or some other weird other-worldly parasite roaming around looking for a host -- eek -- creepy. I wonder what else she could have bought with the money this thing cost -- And I wonder what this thing did cost -- it looks expensive.

Sorry -- the point is -- as I get older and finally learn to appreciate my mother for the flawed but wonderful person she really is I keep learning from her. I sell fig trees on Craig's list yet never let anyone in my house. She opens the house up to these folks and offers them coffee and makes them welcome.

Not that I'm unfriendly -- I'm not. Just the opposite. I give away lots of stuff and offer any assistance I can. I replace anything that dies  -- well if any thing ever did die -- The point is I'm very nice - I just don't want folks in my space.

Mom, of course -- as a mother of 6 1/2 and 20+ grandkids, etc. ( I have had zero kids, btw) sees life a tad differently.
And regardless of how I feel about my personal space --- If they show up - she'll invite them in.

But -- important point here:

In one of the 4 visits she "over-saw" I found out these folks were relatives of an old friend I'd lost. We'd traveled by 4x4 through 9 countries in Africa together and had lost touch. It had been an incredible adventure and I'd tried everything I knew of to find my friend - and now here she was. I now had a contact number for her --- something I'd been trying to get for many years.

Mom's are great. At least mine is. I'm not sure what I'll do with this number as I feel like I'm not ready right now - but I sure am happy to have it.

And all this in a visit of just over 1 week.

That's a nice story. Gives me hope that maybe in 25 years my mom and I can finally patch things up.
Until then I'll enjoy the peace and quiet ;)

I hope you are able to get in touch with your friend, too. That'd be the icing on the cake.

Thanks Nichole. For many years a week with my mom was the last thing on earth I wanted to experience.

Sometimes with a little age under our belt, our parents, all the old conflicts, differences, etc. start to "look"  a little nicer.  Our priorities change, theirs change, and what was so important years ago, becomes trivial, now.

I lost both parents, 6 weeks apart, earlier this year.  Say what you need to say, and, do it today.   How I wish I did things a little differently when I was younger.

"Pride" is one of the Seven Deadly Sins......



Frank

@Michael,  I'm really happy for you both. Sometimes it takes 50+ years to learn acceptance and to appreciate others for who they are.  God willing, You and mom have the gift of time to do to this.   
Good luck for a total recovery from the accident and for what ever that ph# means in your life.
Soni

Thx Soni.

Frank - I'm really sorry to read about your parents.
I lost my father before we were at peace.
I hope your pain and feelings of loss don't linger too long.
mgg

Mike...

Thanks.  Mom was 90, and pop was 92.  They had a good life, and of course I had my share of differences with them both.  I wish I could've changed many things but you can't.  That's life, and it can be sad.

Do your best.  Things can turn on a dime. 



Frank

Nice story Michael, and sounds interesting too (i.e. the number, and all the other stuff in your story).  But what's up with this illness and now injuries on top of the illness?  

Mike

That great Michael! Makes me really appreciate my mom and all the sacrifices she and my father did, for my siblings and I. Thanks for helping me realize how great my parents were. Now that I'm a father I realize it even more!

So glad you and your Mom had some quality time together.  When my Mother went, I spent most of my time trying to ease her mind about leaving my sister who had a multiple substance abuse problems which had resulted in a DUI car accident and permanent spinal cord injuries behind. I was so worried about giving her peace of mind that I never took the time to say the things to her that should have been said about our relationship. Please, take the opportunity to do say some of these things directly to her while she can appreciate your words.  Afterwards is too late. Hope you get back on your feet soon.

Michael, sorry to hear your recovery isn't going as fast as you'd like.   I am glad to hear your Mom has been with you!!  I was living hear for 19 years before mine came for a visit, of course after Dad died.  They didn't see a reason to come to Texas before - "What are we going to do in Texas?"  I guess seeing me wasn't enough.

Like you, I found myself biting my tongue a - bit ha ha ha ha!  At the same time I am so glad she came when she did.

Do yourself and your Mom a service and pick up the phone and call that number!  It doesn't matter what the end result is, without her you wouldn't have it, and it would give you something to thank her for - aside from giving you life of course;)  Plus it would be a great story to tell your friend after all of these years.

You are in my prayers.

Thx to all for the kind thoughts. 

I've always found that family and very old friends have a tough time allowing for growth and change. Many still see each other as the teenagers of their youth.
My energy with my mother for years has been to try and facilitate seeing each other as we are now and to stop using filters that are 40 years old. It's not easy but in this case it's helped a lot.

Mike -- cursed I guess. The illness is something that cycles through every so often and is a nasty bug we haven't found an effective way of treating. The injuries are just time consuming - nothing too serious - just inconvenient. Hit and run so it's more trouble as it's more paper work, etc. Have managed to keep most of my figs alive but this sopping wet weather isn't helping -- well except I don't have to get up and water every day. But it is damaging some figs. My Hollier, for instance, was going for a bumper crop this year and now it's loosing leaves and looking sad. I fed yesterday (Osmocote) and am going to add micro nutrients tomorrow along with either bunny poop (if I still have any) or ground up fish. I'm getting worried about rust though.

Anyway thx again.