Sorry i havent been on for a few days or so, been dealing with some issues on my end. is what it is.
Past few days where pritty bad for didnt even get out of bed or eat, but thats in the past now.

I still plan to do everything i entended to do just now with the change taking place in my life I will now be able to do them more freely with out restraint. this is a plus.

Im sure that when im ready the good lord will put the right person in my path.

until then i am doing whatever i can to quit smoking, and get back into shape. never was much of a drinker until these problems started up but wont let that become a habbit eather.

its not the end of the road just a fork.

Thanx for all who have chatted with me about these things, it really helped.

Dave

some fig trees out there needing you to tend them! 

Good luck with all these life changes. Change is hard but a happy, healthy you is important.

I got myself a fitbit to keep track of my activity. I do find I am more active with it. It allows me to compete with friends. I like to win, so it encourages me to walk more ;)

Be sure to update and tell us your accomplishments along the way!

Sounds like you've got a real good attitude about it all Dave.

BTW, any time I here of some one who is trying to quit smoking, I wish them to have all the power and support they need to succeed. I know from experience it's not an easy one to beat. But I also know full well that it is a beatable thing. I did it myself many years ago. You've just gotta be determined to do it and it will happen for you.

I know you will receive ongoing support from folks right here on the forum. 

More power to you man! Hang in there. 

I stopped smoking a few years ago .. feel much better !

good luck DAVE !

Good luck Dave...I'm glad you have a plan...

Stay positive, and always know things happen for a reason.

Nice to see you posting again Dave. Sounds like you're doing good for what your going through. Hope you stay strong. It's a hard road ahead but if you take care of Dave it will pass much faster. Hoping peace and joy are your thoughts this coming year. Take care.

Dave good for you I hope you stick to your plan everything happens for a reason is my take on life.
And my offer still stands if you ever need to vent in private my email is there for you to use or if you just want some advice and to hear my story ? maybe it will help you never know its good to have ya back.

It gets much better from here Dave. Been there, done that, I got the shirt, should've made a movie and wrote a book about it. You've chosen the first step to adopting a positive outlook and that will lead you to a positive outcome. What the mind dreams the body manifests.

I don't know you and you don't know me but we are all in this silly ride together on a round carbon based life form ball hurling through the universe. We are all rooting for you and we all wish you well in the coming years and know we'll continue to enjoy your company, friendship and a few fig tails.

Glad to have you back Dave.

Hi, Dave. I know we don't really know each other, but as a human being I can put myself your position. I know life can hit pretty hard and when you least expect it. I hope whatever it is that's happening to you gets better and I'll keep you in my prayers man.

Dave,
Try and avoid being isolated.
Keep the dark thoughts out. When they find a way in note what you're doing and why. Stop doing it.

Try and find a support group. It doesn't have to be formal. My neighbor just lost his wife so he started a walking club and several folks go on 1 hour walks with him every day. Let folks help. Most will want to.

Let the crap out! Do not internalize the negative. It's there to balance out the positive and you can choose to stay positive. If you are having problems with this -- do not wait -- see a doc about depression. 

Stop drinking. Just for now. You can always take it up later.

Try very very hard to base your future on the present -- not the past. Make decisions based on today. 

Buy some goofy stupid music like "Don't worry, be happy" and some toys and let your inner child have some fun.

This will pass. As much as it hurts remember many other people have been down this road and a lot of them came out stronger and happier. You want to be one of these people.

Never ever punish yourself. There's plenty of folks that are more then willing to abuse you. You don't need to help them.

Pets help. A lot.

Get up -- move. Take a walk. Go swimming. Volunteer to help someone else.

MGG

Michael is right. Don't mean to get clinical, but much of what Michael says will help produce/release oxytocins - feel good neurohormones. Better than liquor and no hang-over. Take his advice. And keep living life.

A little advice from Suzi... :-)) 

My sister is on Match.com, and it is not easy!  She enjoys some fun (and I have to endure the disappointing reports), so I think it's best to strike a convo with someone at the places you love.  That way you meet somebody who is interested in what you love.  Fig forum?  Doubt it.  LOL!!  But maybe if you go to the ag county meetings in your state...... you never know!

Hey!  Cheering for you!  I used to save all my cheers for USC and the Chargers, but I'll cheer for you too Dave!!

Suzi

Thanx for the cheers suzi and all.

I am not worried about finding anybody. The way I see it everything happends for a reason. When rready for that the Lord will reply. I have faith in that.

Still bummed out though but moving on. Spring will be here soon I hope then I will have more to keep busy with.
We are doing a week by week custady with the kids to be fair all around. Just don't know what to do when the house is empty and quite. Not been that way for 11 years and to be so now out of nowere without warning is just a shock. I'm sure with time things will get better. And maybe I won't be as much of a hermitt anymore.

I have said in other post that I don't get out much maybe four times a year besides work and such. So the net is my main contact with the outside world. And you guys on this forum have been very helpful and understanding. When I joined back in nov had no ideal at all any of this would have taken place.

This just goes to show there is somthing more at work.

Thanx all

Today was a really good day for me. Although I was a little confused. Jess picked the kids up from school so I was bymyself for like 12 hours. Dumbfounded a spent most of that time in the rocker stairing at the wall trying to figure out what to do. No longer own a guitar don't know if I could still play. Nothing on tv. Figs taken care of. So I sat drinking my coffee looking at the wall.

So as soon as possible I am going to recon the local towns to see what single people my age do for "free time"
Free time what is that. I went into the army right out of highschool. Shipped three days after graduation. When I got home I had a job at a steel mill working 70 hours a week with an hour comute. Then I met jess and started a family. Now with nothing to do, I don't know what to do. I finishe writting my book I guess. Maybe try to get it published. Did 5 years in research for it. But wrote here and there. Its really good I'm told.

Start fishing and hunting again I guess. Haveng done eathe sence pops died a few years back.

What do people today do for fun?

I wish I had more free time. I fill my free time with dogs, gardening, and photography (photography fits into the first two hobbies). I am an introvert so I do not do much socializing - beyond computers anyway. Any old friends live near by you could maybe get in touch with? 

I personally am trying to move more (to lose weight). I don't want to go running per se, I just want to move instead of sitting on my butt as soon as I get home from work. That ends up meaning I clean the house more often. I am trying to cook more. I am walking the dogs more on long walks. That way I am not sitting still for very long. It's better for me. Just for the sake of moving those are things you can do. I think you said you have dogs. Any hiking trails? Take some water, some trail mix, and go on a long hike. I bet there are some sites that list the good trails. Heck, bring a pole and bait. Sometimes those hikes lead to lakes that you can't get to by car.

If you do have a hobby (beyond figs) there are often clubs that run along with them. Fishing and hunting I'm sure have their groups. I don't know if you belong to a church, but there are often socials with those too. 

For quiet time to yourself, any books you've been meaning to pick up but kept putting on the back burner? Any projects (be it house chores or fun things) you've been meaning to get to? Try making a list, and start moving.

Go on a fossil hunt. http://www.fossilsites.com/STATES/IL.HTM. You will need to do a little more research about the specific sites, around here most listed on that website are not accessible anymore. Or just join a club and go somewhere with them.