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An apology, of sorts ...

First a little background....

My wife has some girlfriends over once every couple of months -- they have a supper club and since Im the cook of the family and the wine purveyor I get drafted to ... well, cook and go get the grape juice.  Apparently, Im OK at both tasks because, well, they keep insisting that I keep up the drudge work.

They talk about food. A lot.  They talk about wine a WHOLE LOT.  They will go onandonandonand on about this or that wine.  They ask me, and feeling like quite the barbarian, all I can add is that "Its pretty good" and "I like what I like" ... something on those lines.. while they go thorough and microanalyze every aspect of it... and ask me to open another bottle. I just smile, do what Im told to do, and then go throw a stick for the Lab or something... like hide in my workshop.

I "got into" figs because they (1) have fruit, and everything in my yard besides a crepe myrtle and a drake elm MUST bear fruit, (2) I think they are a beautiful tree by themselves, and (3) Everytime I eat a fig it takes me back to being six and sitting in either of my grandfathers' yards after raiding their trees for the sweet treats.  But, truth be told, until this year the only figs Ive ever encountered were Brown Turkey and Celeste.  Nice figs, by the way...

This year I paid a visit to a nursery across the state (Just Fruits) to pick up some persimmon (my passion) and pear trees. They have a nice selection of figs so I picked out a couple... One of these was "Dominico's White Italian" -- dont know if they are going to continue carrying it as they have dropped it on their website... they said it was  a yellow fig that had a "honey" taste... and by Golly it was just a pretty and well formed little tree . So I bought it.

Honey.  I thought about some of you and how you talk about figs and, to be honest, visions of dinner parties ran through my head. Honey.  A little roll to my eyes.  Crunch. Skin type. Blahblahblahblahblah.

C'mon, a figs a fig, right?

The little tree comes home and the first thing I do is pick all of the little figs off of it except for three to sample.  I let the little tree get used to its new home, the little figs grow and last week two of them turned into absolutely golden (specked with brown - sugar spots ?) yellow. Beautiful. Seductive, almost.  

I demonstrated some patience and actually waited for the "droop" which y'all say is an indicator of ripeness.  The fig gave no resistance to a gentle tug, and so I was going to taste my new little trees' bounty.  I took the fig inside and, Ill admit, with a  mocking tone I gave myself a little dialog.  Heck, I even cut it in half and put a quarter near it like you guys do... all the while making little snarky comments to myself...

Then I took a bite. 

The skin/flesh was thick, but tender.  The taste was....Gosh....HONEY....not just honey, by Jove, Tupelo honey.... the more I chewed and chewed and savored and savored the more the taste continued to expand. It was a freaking honey explosion in my mouth.  I swear that it is, perhaps, one of the best danged things Ive ever eaten. I laughed out loud. 

I also must have been talking to myself, because the wife appeared and looked concerned.  I gave her a sliver to eat.. 

"why did you put honey on it?" (all she's had were my Brown Turkey figs)

I just had to start laughing. I didn't offer her the second (or third) fig when they ripened...

Forgive me for all I thought about the endless analysis.

I think I get it now....

Maybe there is hope for this barbarian, after all.

When I figure out how to get my iPhone pictures on here Ill post up the photo. Quarter and all...

J

Welcome to the forum

good story

James, nice thread. Get a Photobucket Account then a Snapbucket account and you
can take your pics, upload and copy and paste to the forum

Welcome again, come visit

Here's the fig...

[656c7449-feb0-4d6c-a194-9b73c1e525a3_zps4a30d182] 

Welcome, and nice story.

James, your thread made me laugh out loud. Thank you for sharing your story. It's quite entertaining.

Great story! I hope I get to tell one like that some day.

Great story, James.  Those honey flavored figs are delicious.

haha!  Welcome :)

Loved the story, well done:)

Quote:
Originally Posted by NativeSun
First a little background....

My wife has some girlfriends over once every couple of months -- they have a supper club and since Im the cook of the family and the wine purveyor I get drafted to ... well, cook and go get the grape juice.  Apparently, Im OK at both tasks because, well, they keep insisting that I keep up the drudge work.

They talk about food. A lot.  They talk about wine a WHOLE LOT.  They will go onandonandonand on about this or that wine.  They ask me, and feeling like quite the barbarian, all I can add is that "Its pretty good" and "I like what I like" ... something on those lines.. while they go thorough and microanalyze every aspect of it... and ask me to open another bottle. I just smile, do what Im told to do, and then go throw a stick for the Lab or something... like hide in my workshop.

I "got into" figs because they (1) have fruit, and everything in my yard besides a crepe myrtle and a drake elm MUST bear fruit, (2) I think they are a beautiful tree by themselves, and (3) Everytime I eat a fig it takes me back to being six and sitting in either of my grandfathers' yards after raiding their trees for the sweet treats.  But, truth be told, until this year the only figs Ive ever encountered were Brown Turkey and Celeste.  Nice figs, by the way...

This year I paid a visit to a nursery across the state (Just Fruits) to pick up some persimmon (my passion) and pear trees. They have a nice selection of figs so I picked out a couple... One of these was "Dominico's White Italian" -- dont know if they are going to continue carrying it as they have dropped it on their website... they said it was  a yellow fig that had a "honey" taste... and by Golly it was just a pretty and well formed little tree . So I bought it.

Honey.  I thought about some of you and how you talk about figs and, to be honest, visions of dinner parties ran through my head. Honey.  A little roll to my eyes.  Crunch. Skin type. Blahblahblahblahblah.

C'mon, a figs a fig, right?

The little tree comes home and the first thing I do is pick all of the little figs off of it except for three to sample.  I let the little tree get used to its new home, the little figs grow and last week two of them turned into absolutely golden (specked with brown - sugar spots ?) yellow. Beautiful. Seductive, almost.  

I demonstrated some patience and actually waited for the "droop" which y'all say is an indicator of ripeness.  The fig gave no resistance to a gentle tug, and so I was going to taste my new little trees' bounty.  I took the fig inside and, Ill admit, with a  mocking tone I gave myself a little dialog.  Heck, I even cut it in half and put a quarter near it like you guys do... all the while making little snarky comments to myself...

Then I took a bite. 

The skin/flesh was thick, but tender.  The taste was....Gosh....HONEY....not just honey, by Jove, Tupelo honey.... the more I chewed and chewed and savored and savored the more the taste continued to expand. It was a freaking honey explosion in my mouth.  I swear that it is, perhaps, one of the best danged things Ive ever eaten. I laughed out loud. 

I also must have been talking to myself, because the wife appeared and looked concerned.  I gave her a sliver to eat.. 

"why did you put honey on it?" (all she's had were my Brown Turkey figs)

I just had to start laughing. I didn't offer her the second (or third) fig when they ripened...

Forgive me for all I thought about the endless analysis.

I think I get it now....

Maybe there is hope for this barbarian, after all.

When I figure out how to get my iPhone pictures on here Ill post up the photo. Quarter and all...

J



Last year I had 3 fig plants in containers. Today I have 60+. Welcome to the healthy addiction that is fig farming.

Great story, you had me laughing good!

Nice story James.  You're inspiring a song title... Hope for the Barbarian(s), or something along those lines.  (I think the song has yet to be written).  Nice story.

Mike

Aloha and welcome, James.  All it takes is that one experience.  You're in deep now.  

  • Avatar / Picture
  • JD

Welcome James!

Hi NativeSun,
Your wife is really nice. She didn't ask to have the other figs LOL... or did you hide the tree? Do organza bags work against wife and daughter ? . And she didn't scream after you because you started eating the fig without her LOL .
In which Usda Zone are you ?
If you have space for more figtrees, just keep feeding your addiction . You could easily propagate your new tree to get more figs in the future.
Then if you can find one, try to describe the taste of a "Sultane" ... I started a topic about the only Sultane brebas I had this year, just look at the pics ...
Figs are really amazing fruits !

  • Avatar / Picture
  • FMD

Good one James.
Next time you and your wife are in Tallahassee, you should drop by for an expanded fig tasting exercise. Bring your taste buds.

Thanks for the story.  I loved it.  just something about figs makes us all just go no and on.  I don't drink wine but I think because of the figs I kinda understand better why people just go on and on discussing the different flavors.

Thank you all for the welcome and very kind responses!  Somehow. I'm getting a vibe that some of you folk can relate.  Sometimes food can be an epiphany -- I teach a lot of inner city kids and we have a (small for now) school garden (soon to be vastly expanded as my new principal has fallen for the Jedi mind trick :  "I think you need us to have a huge garden and orchard, ma'am) -- when some of them eat a really RIPE tomato or some new fruit or vegetable, it's like they've never tasted one before and that brings me a lot of joy (and some relevance to a history class).

Mike - thanks for the motivation. I asked my 11 year old and she had me set up within ten minutes. Cursed cell phones.  Cursed tweens.

Rich - Ill have to be careful with the collection. I have managed to cram over 40 fruit trees into a fairly small lot...my garden is a bit...chaotic.  One of my beloved's friends asked me (at one of these dinner parties, no less) what "theme" I was going for -- I replied "sort of a French Trappist monastery stuck in Southeast Asia" --  All I got from most of the girls was a glazed look, either (A) because they have no idea what a Trappist is, or (B) the aforementioned wine. Her oldest (and wisest) friend nodded and said that was a "beautiful description". She got unlimited refills. I even broke out a bottle from the deep recesses of the cabinet where I keep my secret stash.

Limiting the collection will also be easy as I cannot get She Who Must be Obeyed to agree with growing trees in Home Depot buckets.  She saw I was looking at a post here of someones' garden filled with a  sea of orange buckets... I said "Do you think..." the response was incredibly quick "Ohhhhh Hellllllll no!".  She doesn't curse much so I figure after Ive convinced her about the trees, garden, rabbits, chickens, quail, workshop, shed for my hunting gear.... well, lets just say there are some lines I dare not cross. 

Tuscon Mike - I've proudly held the title of "hopeless barbarian" since the first year of our 19 years of marriage.  A friend and I were gnawing on some freshly harvested wood ducks when she called me that. I responded "I resent the hopeless part". Gotta break 'em in in early.

Nate - thanks and take care in those storms.  I know what you are experiencing, unfortunately.

JDS - she is an absolute gem. She has put up with me for 23 years so that says a lot about either her patience or her sanity.  Luckily for me both she and my daughter actually dont like figs, so I actually am looking forward to eating them on occasion. My daughter is like a biblical scourge in the garden, but you have to be thankful for a kid who loves her fruits and veggies.  Im in zone "ish" -- somewhere between 8 and 9 -- Im close to the St. Johns River so that helps warm things up a little in winter.

JD and Frank - thank you both.  Frank I remember your generous offer to let me see your orchard from this spring.  My father in law had a relapse of cancer this year (he passed last month) so I wasn't able to get over to Tally this spring/summer. I'll be there next month to do some duck hunting and FSU games and Ill look you up.

Sorry for the long responses. I can type really fast and am still on summer vacation.  Everyone is ready for dad to get back to work.

Thanks again, and Cheers!

James

Good story, and beautiful fig as well.

I loved your post.  JD is a lot like you!  I can talk food and wine onandonandonandon.  Recently I got a sinus infection and it hurts my head to talk.  JD was noticeably happy!  He likes what he likes, and really has no clue.  He wouldn't know the dif between instant or fresh brewed coffee.

Also like your screen name!  I have a Pinterest board called Cherokee Soul.  I collect all things Indian there since I have two strains in my blood.  Mohawk and Cherokee......  Oooops!  I'm talking ;-)

Suzi

Love the story! Just wait until you can start incorporating figs into your meals, the supper club gals might help She Who Must Be Obeyed get on board with some more trees. 

Resistance is futile.   Not only that but your photo shows a fig that's not fully ripe.  Just think how good it would have been had it ripened fully.  You have to protect it from critters and let it droop completely limp.  No Touchee!

Just use some of that marble look spray paint and the MRS will be happy.

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