Hey soulmate! Plant one of those Castor bean plants. I got some seeds on Ebay. I planted 5 in a pot, put them on drip, and they all grew, so we planted the entire pot in ground with no gopher protection... And all is well. They are growing. I'm growing poison! Woo Hoo, and all the critters around here will be recipients of it's gifts! The poison in the seeds is called "ricin." You may have heard of it. Deadly, and you put those beans in and around the garden, you will get a lot of critters!
We do NOT have a dog, but one neighbor does, and the thing barks all night! I'm not going to poison it, but I'd like to strangle the owners. It's like we live on a farm here (donkeys are loud, and roosters). there is one private road going up a big hill. the road tops a ravine. Houses are next to the road, and we all have 2-5 acres of no man's land going down hill, and maybe up the next hill. We had a bbq with the neighbors that don't have a dog. I smoked chicken on the Traeger, and when I checked the fat bucket, it was licked clean! By what? No clue! At least it didn't bother us sitting outside, and I didn't have to clean it. There are some animal mysteries we may never know.
Hang in there!
Suzi