Imagine a jar full of BBs or marbles. In your mind's eye, you can see all the valuable air spaces so important to root health between the particles. If you mix even 25% of a potting soil based on peat/coir/compost .... into the gravel or small stones, where does it go and what happens to all the air spaces? The air spaces fill with peat or other small particles, reducing aeration.
Now, think of small gravel about BB size or a little larger mixed with Turface, a baked clay granule that is very porous and holds water/nutrients well. The Turface is large enough that the water doesn't collect BETWEEN the particles, it's retained within the particles. Add a little pine or fir bark in a 1/8-1/4" size to the mix, and you get even MORE water retention and still get to keep all the air spaces between particles.
Choosing or making a soil is a mixture of two perspectives, and it's about compromises, about balance. What's best for the plant is lots of aeration and minimal perched water, but that requires more frequent watering than does growing in a heavy, water-retentive soil. While plants may live in soils, portions of which remain saturated for extended periods, they are limited because heavy soils compromise root function and set in motion the cyclic death and regeneration of fine roots as the soil alternates between being too wet and appropriately moist. This causes a loss of actual AND potential growth, and reduces vitality . Most of us, including myself, are willing to sacrifice some potential growth/vitality in exchange for the convenience of less frequent watering. While I have no stake in what direction you lean, I think knowing you have choices and some idea of what those choices mean in terms of your effort vs growth/vitality is helpful in making your decisions.
Al