I agree with Jon completely.
The bottom line is people that want to educate themselves about the way this forum works before posting might appreciate having some basic advise on becoming a member of this community.

Those that are only out to get cuttings and move on won't read any of the starter info and will be short lived as they always have been.

Suzi, I think we are on the same page. I think in the end, I will add some comments,  suggestions or guidelines to the Start Thread, and then point it out in the welcome e-mail.

I have NO love of drama, but it is also good to let everyone speak their piece, once in a while. That can go south, but it can also lead to ways to make things better for everyone. I could be heavy handed, and edit a lot more things, but I still want it to be more free and simple. Sometimes that means allowing some latitude. I think, in this case, after the dust settles, we can make some simple changes (not rules or laws) that will benefit everyone.

Mike - I very much applaud and appreciate your efforts. 

We also have to realize we all have bad days - kids are sick, loss of job, relationship problems, loved ones ill, teenagers, dog ate my homework, money problems, car accident on the way home from work, intolerable boss, etc, etc, etc.  The list is endless.  We need to be able to forgive, but when it gets to be the rule rather than the exception, well then that's something else entirely.  Rules will not make the "not nice" people "nice" nor will it get them to read the rules as Gina pointed out.

Mike - Let me ask a hypothetical question.  Will there be disciplinary actions taken if the rules are violated?

Suzi - Please don't leave.  You are a valuable member and your contributions are appreciated.  Don't let one or two bad apples spoil it for you (or me).  I was considering leaving the site too until I saw Cody's response today and it made me feel better about being here.  I'm not saying Cody is a bad apple, on the contrary, I'm saying his response made me appreciate the "nice" people on this site and he is one of the "nice" people.

Steve:  What rules?

Mike

Mike,

Again, I appreciate your efforts, but as others have done I have taken your suggestions as rules.  Apologies.

Steve, no apology necessary!   One thing I'd remind everyone... they're not really "my" suggestions either.  I just agreed to edit.  Some of them started from me, but most of them came from others.  :-)

Mike

I find this topic very amusing.  I  joined on the first of the year - about 3 minutes after I found the site.  I have to say I am not the lurking type - I jump in and join the crowd - also while lurking without being a member I couldn't see any of the pictures.  Besides, I had questions and a mission  -  I needed help!!

I would not expect anyone to respond to a request for free cuttings if I had made one - it is rude behavior to ask strangers for anything for free!!

Would anyone go to a strangers house and ask for free cuttings?  No they wouldn't, they would wait till the people were gone, trespass and take them - along with some fruit and flowers they like lol (as mentioned in a previous post!!)

There are several ways to handle someone who you feel is being rude.   Ignore them!!  If it is a public post on the forum you can choose to not reply to it. If you feel a burning desire to set this person strait, a pm would also be appropriate in a tactful way.  You can make a public post for their person to check their pm to insure they see it.  If it is a direct email or pm, and you are not comfortable with the request, you can say something like "I am sorry, but all of the cuttings I may have are spoken for." 

I have missed a lot of the drama over the last couple of months due to the hours I work - afternoon till evening when most of this happens.  Sometimes I miss a couple of days - Man!!  A lot can happen here over a couple of days!!  This board is busy!

When I read the drama (after it happened) I noticed a bandwagon type of reaction.  This happened on a forum I used to frequent several years ago.  It turned out that it was started by a troll.  This person posted a frantic need help situation!  Right away people started posting about the situation and the troll kept baiting and the members kept swallowing  hook, line and sinker!!  about 3 pages worth over several hours!!  A member with somewhat of a level head realized this must be troll and outed the person, the tone of it changed.

I am NOT saying anything here was started by a troll.  What I am saying is don't be so quick to respond to something.  I see it all the time with people and texting on their phones!  They may be in a bad mood or read the text in a way that was not intended - the emotions go up and  the intelligence goes down. 

Words are powerful - whether written or spoken.  I am sure everyone at one point or another has wished they didn't just say that!!  We can't take back our spoken words - they are done.  What we can do is take a moment to read what we wrote and say to ourselves - should I take this back?  Does it convey what I want it to?

I have had times here when I didn't feel very comfortable, heck I feel that with family, friends and coworkers at times too!  For me, being a member, the pros far outweigh the cons.  Be nice, be polite and try not to be to harsh with others.

If you need to read a page on forum etiquette then you probably don't have any anyway.

Do we really need this thread?

BOOM! LMAO

A while back, I had asked about the "Terms Of Service" (TOS) for this forum:
http://figs4funforum.websitetoolbox.com/post/F4F-Terms-of-Service-5113518
Since then, the membership has more than doubled, increasing the chances for mishaps.

The GardenWeb does have such an official TOS document.
It can be accessed from the very bottom of their forums home pages:
http://www.gardenweb.com/legal/tos.cgi
Most of it is legal mambo jumbo.
Article 6. Guidelines deals mainly with [common-sense and] etiquette.

Can F4F have something similar (but simpler) that all members
(new and old) MUST read at least once?

I hope Suzi don't go!  We need more women in this forum!  I hope Maggie comes back.  Don't worry Suzi, Jon will get rid of the drama!

How bout those figs!!!!!!!

OK, I think we have had ample time to hash out this subject, and hopefully it has been of benefit, even if it has been a little awkward at times. This is a community, not a commercial site, so sometimes "family" dynamics are less than perfect. Who hasn't experienced that?

I have added a pinned thread regarding this subject. I have included it in the "START" page. In a week or so, I will un-pin it, and probably send this thread to the dustbin, as well.

My thanks to Mike for stepping up to help develop some guidelines to help the Forum prosper. I may have chosen other language but he was able to distil the pertinent issues which made my life easier.