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Ok there are some "irrigated" properties in AZ and you can get virtually free water for gardening. Something like $20 per year. Combine that with cheap land, and you have fig paradise. For humans though, far from it. I really envy your snow.
There is a saying "Il n'y a la rose sans epines." Living in the Midwest may have its downside, but I really enjoy the change of seasons. You can't have the spring without the winter.