oldghost
1310788592
Posted 1316045020
Reply with quote #51
I think I have found a possible lasting solution to what's " Hexing " me.
I was able to track down and locate a " Wandering Exorcist "
Father Damien.
Seems like something bad happened to him at some point in the past and he is currently " undomiciled " and unaffiliated with any peticular order.
Other than his tendency to frequently take a sip of something called " EverClear " from a silver flask ( Maybe to keep his thinking clear as he fights demons? )
he seemed very knowledgeable in " The Hidden Arts " : ( his spooky words, not mine. )
He came prepared.
He had a " Portal " with him made of sacred leather that contained his tools of the trade.
Many religious articles, candles, lengths of cloth and of course holy water.
I fully debriefed him on the situation with my Figs and the words and possible actions of the old Italian woman.
He wasted no time. After taking a rather large long swallow of his " EverClear " he got to work.
The first thing he did was ask me to light candles. I asked him: "is it to ward off evil spirits? he said: " No, there's lot of mosquitoes
here." ( he noticed my Citronella candles.... )
The second thing he did was spit on the spooky headless statue.
He then grabbed a handful of soil from one of my fig trees and threw it onto the statue.
After the spitting and soil throwing he leaned down and whispered something in the area of where the ears would be ( if it had a head )
Reaching deeply into his " Portal " ( which looked like a bag to me.) he removed item, after item, whispering something to each one.
Placing a Cross here, sprinkling some Holy water there, lighting one of his spooky human figure candles there, and giving the
headless statue more spits.
The most incredible thing is the old Italian woman that I believe s the cause of all this " just happened " to walk by as Father Damien
was preforming his service!
She did not slow down or speed up. She just looked at us, looked at what we were doing and started laughing loudly. and I mean
loudly, never thought an 85 year old woman could laugh that loud.
Boy, was I shaken, I assume Father Damien was too because he took another large swallow of his " EverClear ".
After a few more minutes of chant and relic placement, Father Damien said he could do no more at that time.
He said he would have to leave the headless statue there because it was too tainted to remove ( maybe all that spit and soil?)
but would return in a couple of days to do so and to also gauge the "energy " on my patio.
I will post pictures of his handiwork in my next and hopefully last post on this subject.
Attached Images Father_Damiem_1.jpg (411.84 KB, 247 views)Father_Damiem_2.jpg (266.22 KB, 230 views)Father_Damiem_Bag.jpg (299.52 KB, 239 views)Father_Damiem_Bag_2.jpg (324.56 KB, 233 views)
Dieseler
1215735852
Posted 1316057957
Reply with quote #52
I gotta hand it to you Nick ! ; )
nypd5229
1290455653
Posted 1316090331
Reply with quote #53
So now we know what happened to the priest from the Exorcist.
I don't know what to stay farther away from...The Everclear, the priest, the woman, or the doll!
Hope you made a donation to the Church of Wandering Drunks Ex Communicated for Drinking Too Much!
Please make your donation in the form of nips. No donations turned down, no matter what type!
udaman
1278954389
Posted 1316090374
Reply with quote #54
Here's an interesting web page for " La Vecchia Religione". Sicilian Strega
http://sites.google.com/site/figosaurus/home
OttawanZ5
1192897779
Posted 1316105709
Reply with quote #55
Spooky....
Ottawan-Z5a, Canada
nypd5229
1290455653
Posted 1316107474
Reply with quote #56
Nick in all seriousness.
Did he ever tell you what happened or what caused him to become unaffiliated with any order or church?
I only ask this because growing up Catholic and being very religious as a child and young teen, I was going to go to Seminary school to become a Priest. I am always curious as to why others choose different paths or are forced to do otherwise.
What traumatic event occurred that forced him out?
oldghost
1310788592
Posted 1316110618
Reply with quote #57
Dominick,
I'm glad you asked.
It is a very sad, but cautionary tale.
Even though Father Damien possessed great power and his mind was keen,
I noticed he appeared to be a mere husk of the man he told me he once was.
Hesitantly I asked him " Father, what happened in the past to cause you to
come into your current situation ?
I didn't want to be rude but I thought perhaps there was something I could do to
help him.
He turned to me with an ashen look, took a long swallow of his " fortifier "
and in a hushed tone he said that years ago at the height of his power and strength
he fought the two most Vile Hideous Creatures to ever roam the earth.
He said, their power was beyond belief, their visage so terrifying , and their
screams so soul sucking that he barely escaped with his life!
Of course he lost the battle, he was NO match for one let alone TWO of
these Hell- Spawn creatures.
The battle left him, battered, weak, and a mere shell of the man he once was.
I turned to him, with a saddened face and asked Who or What were theses things?
He finished the final drop of his " fortifier " and in a defeated tone said:
My Ex- Wife and her Mother.
OttawanZ5
1192897779
Posted 1316116268
Reply with quote #58
oldghost
Ottawan-Z5a, Canada
rafed
1252876934
Posted 1316116465
Reply with quote #59
Since when does a Catholic priest have a wife?
nypd5229
1290455653
Posted 1316116755
Reply with quote #60
When the bishop isn't looking!
No, No I'm sorry bad joke. I was just using myself as an example. I'm not sure he ever mentioned what religion he was a apart of.
udaman
1278954389
Posted 1316134037
Reply with quote #61
You've heard of Laurel and Hardy, Abbot and Costello? Now meet Nick and Dominick. :)
http://sites.google.com/site/figosaurus/home
oldghost
1310788592
Posted 1316203220
Reply with quote #62
Well Ladies and gentlemen,
Father Damien and I have done everything we could to negate " The curse " the old Italian woman has i believe placed on my Figs.
I believe my innocent figgies are now safe from her powers.
I should be able to sleep comfortably now content in the knowledge that my Unknown Large Yellow, my Battaglia, and my Calabrese Long figs are not going to be further subjected to abnormal growth or the taking on of anatomical features.
Between Father Damien's chanting, whispering, stomping of his feet and his copious spitting ( God, there was so much spitting ) I think my fig trees are now able to withstand any further supernatural assault.
The freaky Headless statue is still there, still staring at me with it's headless eyes but Father Damien insists he will remove it after he has recharged his " spiritual energies "
and bought some more " Fortifier "
What a surreal experience this has been
I want to thank everyone that offered their assistance and kind words of support, they were what helped me get thur these past few sleepless nights.
Here are the pics of the " Shields of Protection " that are now standing vigilant guard over my patio.
Father Damien swears that no evil will be able to now breach the patio perimeter,
but if it does, he will give me a 15% discount.
Attached Images Protected_Fig3.jpg (420.93 KB, 8 views)Protected_Fig2.jpg (410.05 KB, 172 views)Protected_Fig.jpg (396.25 KB, 168 views)Woman_Candle.jpg (459.50 KB, 169 views)Horns_6.jpg (298.77 KB, 164 views)Horns_3.jpg (379.66 KB, 166 views)Horns_5.jpg (304.26 KB, 167 views)Horns_1.jpg (271.76 KB, 163 views)
Dieseler
1215735852
Posted 1316212966
Reply with quote #63
Well Nick i hope now your figs will ripen and look like a fig should look now that the Indian woman oops i meant Italian woman curse has been taken care off.
udaman
1278954389
Posted 1316214977
Reply with quote #64
I got a black cat bone
I got a mojo too
I got the Johnnie Conkaroo
I'm gonna mess with you
http://sites.google.com/site/figosaurus/home
satellitehead
1257988353
Posted 1316229759
Reply with quote #65
@Andrew, that's "I got a John the Conquerer root" ;)
oldghost
1310788592
Posted 1316230663
Reply with quote #66
satellitehead,
You Think?
Attached Images Father_Damiem_X.jpg (270.42 KB, 141 views)
satellitehead
1257988353
Posted 1316231235
Reply with quote #67
See: http://www.iggy-pop.com/layout/iggy-links.jpg
udaman
1278954389
Posted 1316256481
Reply with quote #68
Jason,
http://sites.google.com/site/figosaurus/home
nypd5229
1290455653
Posted 1316351663
Reply with quote #69
Jason
Your dead on with that!
Nick
Send that guy my way...
If he can get rid of his mother-in-law, I have a bottle of Night Train with his name all over it for mine! LOL
texascockatoos
1278784595
Posted 1316351985
Reply with quote #70
Hook Em Horns - Go UT
http://www.texascockatoos.com
nypd5229
1290455653
Posted 1316352539
Reply with quote #71
Now Now
That's just Texas Longhorn Propaganda! LOL
texascockatoos
1278784595
Posted 1316353800
Reply with quote #72
Exactly. How can you believe anything from a drunk priest.
OldGhost - I don't want this to come off wrong but if this is that serious for you, why don't you get another priest (who's not drinking).
http://www.texascockatoos.com
Figluvah
1297432492
Posted 1316354916
Reply with quote #73
Here is my take on this whole B/S thread
Attached Images The_Joker__s_Calling_Card_by_No_Sig.jpg (35.53 KB, 31 views)
oldghost
1310788592
Posted 1316361093
Reply with quote #74
In regards to the question why didn't I get a real priest, do you have any idea of the paperwork involved in having an Exorcistism even considered ?
And just to make it clear on this forum, I never wrote "Father Damien " was a priest. I . tried to make that clear with an earlier disclaimer of " unaffiliated with any peticular order ".
The compelling reason I hired him was his low cost. Other than a few dollars and some figs ( he kept eating my ripe figs: when I asked him to please not eat them all,
he said: " I gotta make sure nothings hiding in these here tasty figs. I want to be thorough and not leave any evil behind "
And to the members that think I have been joking on this thread,
All I can say in my defense is that Something has been affecting my figs and causing them to look like freaks of nature ,
And Someone
And hate my fig trees
If your were on the receiving end of this wouldn't you take extreme measures ?
hoosierbanana
1287901146
Posted 1316364017
Reply with quote #75
When you have that many figs you are going to see some odd things and attract weird people. Take Jon for example ;)
Caneyscud
1299861260
Posted 1316527101
Reply with quote #76
Now that is just not right!Quote:
Originally Posted by
texascockatoos Hook Em Horns - Go UT
texascockatoos
1278784595
Posted 1316558596
Reply with quote #77
Are you an aggie?My husband is an aggie.
http://www.texascockatoos.com
Caneyscud
1299861260
Posted 1316792700
Reply with quote #78
You mean am I a Fighting Texas Aggie?
oldghost
1310788592
Posted 1316979132
Reply with quote #79
Martin,
I recently noticed an interesting thing.
On my this thread whereas most viewers/comments only spoke about the figs or the fig rekated items, you made a comment about " Father " Damien's feet.
Which I thought was just a bit odd..
I met the man, spent time with the man, hired the man to help with my fig " issues " and did not notice his feet condition.
( guess I had more pressing things on my mind; ( namely a crafty old Italian woman )
After you posted that comment, out of mere curiosity I took a look to see what you were referring to.
The real interesting thing is casually, most people including myself would not move their eyes down the photo to look at " Father " Damien's feet.
He is such a interestingly dressed fellow, that his attire grabs most if not all of one's attention..
You, on the other hand... had to use a Photo Management program ( to blow up the photo to get a really good look at his feet.
Thought that was odd, but I tried to put that creepy little nugget of feet information out of my mind.
Which brings us to this post.
Once again the main or not complete focus of most viewers is the roof, all the water that pooled up there, what type of figs am I growing, how do they look,..etc.
( all factors uncommon enough to inform/interest most viewers )
But with you, not only did you notice - like an Afghanistan Blood Hound I might add - the only photo - one tiny thumbnail actually - not " Hot Linked " you must have really perked up when you read the file name " Wet feet " that you went out of your way to not only click on it, but once again use a photo management program to enlarge the photo enough to get a really close look at my feet to see the length of my toenails
( they were underneath a foot and a half of water after all.)
Now, don't take this the wrong way. I am not saying that there is anything wrong with your possible infatuation with feet or toes.
To each his or her own, that's my motto.
Some people have a strange obsession with figs, some with feet, and some both...
Who am I to judge?
In that light, I offer you a tasty picture, one that I am certain you ( and only you ) will deeply appreciate.
Enjoy.
Warning: extremely graphic photo, unless you're Martin, or like to look at feet, DO NOT click on the photo.
P.S. Martin, you know I love you and am just having fun right?
Attached Images Martin's_Eye_Candy..jpg (176.28 KB, 11 views)Martin_at_home..jpg (161.43 KB, 9 views)
texascockatoos
1278784595
Posted 1316981169
Reply with quote #80
Now that is just disgusting. Both pictures.
http://www.texascockatoos.com
Dieseler
1215735852
Posted 1316981610
Reply with quote #81
Hi Nick,
