Thanks Guys, Those pictures really helped. The wife was the main threat, and she's agreed to wait... a day. I wrapped paper (clothes-pinned to the stem) around it to discourage birds, and piled what screens and such that I had handy around for critters. Won't stop a determined squirrel or raccoon, but that's an area, a long way from good cover, where I work a lot (under pussycat supervision) and what weeds and clutter there is there is home to at least one big rat snake. I saw it less than 20 ft from that fig just yesterday. I saw a smaller one in the garlic bed a couple of days ago. And, found a nest where at least 8 had hatched earlier in the summer (again within 20 ft.). I think my main protection is that none of the critters around here knows what a fig is. I got many handfuls of figs off a potted fig on the open porch last year with no sign of any bird damage. Of course that bush had the cat's favorite shade.
We had traces of rain yesterday, at 70% chance. It's 30% tonight and 60% tomorrow. Not enough to worry about. Dug a couple of holes today and the ground is bone dry. I'd be happy to trade a less flavorful fig for a good rain.