I don't think I can do it to the babies but I have a bigger one that Earned my ire.
Outside we had a huge fig tree (bt) when we moved here in 07. It easily reached the second story windows. One evening after a Game dinner and a few libations the local Italian club I caught a branch in the eye while walking into the house. I then took all manner of clipper, lopper, and saw to it. It was daybreak as I finished teaching it a lesson. If there is a Department of Fig Protective Services I'd be in cuffs.
The tree got the last laugh. The dang tree grew right back, beautiful as ever and better fruit too! That was fall of 09. So in spring of 11 I bought a few more trees. Then a few cuttingsnin the summer. A few more in the fall. Now a few more.