I spotted another fig tree today, actually the yard has two of them. Each about 18ft tall and the same diameter. Big trees and absolutely LOADED with figs! I talked to a woman at the house, she is a nurse to the elderly owner. She said that owner has Alzheimer's and has become very strange about her fig trees. She used to share with people but now she will not.

Since they are not yet ripe I obviously don't know what variety, but the nurse said they are purple and quite a bit bigger than a quarter. My main attraction to the tree is that it obviously likes this climate and its huge crop.

Each of these trees will probably ripen 200 lbs of figs, but most of them will just rot because the owner will not allow anyone to pick them. I don't blame the woman, she is ill and not thinking straight. But it still pains me to see all that fruit rot.

The nurse did say I should come and sneak a few cuttings this fall. She said don't ask, just do it. It will be said to drive by that house next month knowing that those trees are covered in figs just falling to the ground.

If I ever go by and happen to notice that there are no cars in the drive...

As long as people share the cuttings they sneak we should start a fig fund. Money collected will be used to bail members out of jail!

If there ever was a victimless crime this would be it... not that I'm necessarily saying you should do it mind you!  Hmmm...has "stand your ground" been used against fig cutting ninjas?  Be careful out there.

I've been trying to work on an angle. What about a fake badge and tell the owner I am from the plant health dept. "Ma'm I need to inspect that thar fig tree for Chinese fig warts. But now don't  you worry. I don't have to cut it down. I only need a few cuttings and 10 or 20 gallons of fresh figs for the lab to test."

I know there are bad people out there who take advantage of elderly people, but it is a sad day when a very up front, neighborly  conversation leads to suspicion. Since when did a thief ever leave his name, address and phone number with their intended mark?

The couple times I have approached people about their fig trees have been pleasant. However I could see how things could get weird.

I guess I've been lucky. The photos I posted yesterday of the Desert King figs, were from an 87 year old man, who is very trusting. I had spotted the tree a few months ago, and one day when I saw a guy in the driveway, I stopped to ask about it. Joe didn't know me from Adam, but we chatted figs, tomatoes, garlic, and making gravy for a half an hour. He told me he'd be gone fishing for two weeks when the figs would be ripening, and to just come on in and help myself. If anyone asked, just tell them I'm a friend of Joe's. Gene, I think I'd ask the nurse what time the woman takes a nap.

Yeah, it was really too bad. The live-in nurse told me that if I had asked 2-3 years ago, the lady would have been happy to share. But now her mind is gone and she is extremely possessive of her things and suspicious. And to make matters worse, the nurse said she personally would not care if I "tasted a few" when they are ripe, just don't ask first. That's what raises the specter of pulling a fig ninja on this scene. The only thing holding me back is the moral angle. I don't think I have the right to act as though the owner is mentally incompetent and I can just go around her expressed wishes. 

[great big sigh] I had visions of fig-raspberry jam, but I guess all those excess figs will just have to feed the raccoon's and squirrels.