Martin,
My husband seems to enjoy my joy of growing in the hoophouse. And once in a while he gets something yummy to eat, like five fat strawberries on Sunday. He doesn't particularly care for figs but does appreciate the salads all winter. And when there are cherry tomatoes, only the grandkids take rank over him. I will soon be eating the Oriental persimmons, only ten, but I am looking forward to it. Seems that most of the time we like different fruits, so that makes it fun to grow so many kinds. Next on the list is grapes, he likes those and raisins a lot! Those go outside. Mainly he puts up the structures, trellis or posts or whatever, lugs the heavy things around and I do all the planning and most of the harvesting and preserving. Once in a while he makes a variety decision or vetoes something. I call him Mr. Muscles, I sure couldn't do all of this stuff without him and am thankful he is willing. He is also the brain behind figuring out technical things like the irrigation system we will be installing.
And after our daughter-in-law passed away almost five years ago, things became more mellow around here for both of us. Some things aren't so important, and other things are more so. Those strawberries smelled so good and to see my husband enjoy them was great. He offered me one, but it was so much better to see him enjoy them. Just sitting in the extra warm hoop on a winter day is a true joy for me and a fun place for the grandkids to play. Guess what I am trying to say is that 'honeydews' for both of us become more of a joy than a pain after you have seen truly deep pain (and I did see your smile and wink - not being quarrelsome, just observant). We have learned to be more thankful for each other and considerate of the other and willing to give more than take. God is still working on me - often I think my husband is much more giving than I am. Forget fifty-fifty rules. We need to find the joy in giving as much as we can find strength to give.
Elizabeth