This might help with fig production.  New fig Fertilizer

Oh No, I am not going there. I will however say as a part time comic, This has potential.

I saw this last night and had the same thought as Navillus.  I'm still getting grief on Facebook from the comments I posted about bacon flavored "personal lubricant"

~james

Well i read it.
I still prefer the reg fertilizer route miracle grow mixed with water .
If it ain't broke ........

Martin, some might refer to Viagra as "Miracle Gro"

Oh yuck.

I hear you James  ; )  i have a neighbor that mentioned it once and he offered and i said no thanks.
Now if it was claimed to grow HAIR on ones head who knows........ ; )

Finasteride will grow hair and shrink your prostate. And it  is generic.

Maybe hairy fig trees would help protect them from the winter wind.  

There are just too many tempting jokes to be made with this thread.