“Bad Girlfriend” Kimchee

2 heads Napa Cabbage

1 ¼ c Sea Salt (Kosher is OK)

½ c minced onion

3 cloves garlic, minced

2-inch piece of Ginger, minced

1 c Red Pepper flakes (use more if you like)

½ c Shrimp Paste (or ¼ c Fish sauce)

2 T Molasses

1 T Rice Wine Vinegar

1 T salt

1 T Sesame Oil

2 c Carrots, shredded

2 c Daikon Radish, shredded or slivered

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Split cabbage in half lengthwise and trim off ends. Rinse and cut in 2-inch squares. Place into container (plastic bucket works well) and sprinkle with sea salt as you layer it in. Do the same with carrots and Daikon in separate container.  Seal each container and leave at room temperature for 6 hours.

Make a paste from the remaining ingredients. If you have juice from a previous batch, add this to get a faster ferment on this batch. It’s like a sourdough starter; it’s perpetual.

Rinse salt from the vegetables. Drain and press out the liquid.

In a crock or bucket, start layering vegetables and mixing in the paste. You want everything coated, top to bottom. Press everything down as you go, squeezing juices out of the mixture. This makes a brine that you need for the process. WEAR GLOVES UNLESS YOU WANT EVERY PART OF YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES TO HURT (I found out the hard way).

At this point, I weigh it all down with a plate, topped with a clean jog of water. You want it to become submerged in the juices. Cover with a couple of towels to keep the flies out. Leave on the kitchen counter for about 4 days, checking for taste daily.

Bottle it, making sure to only stuff them ¾ full or you will explode your jars (Again, found out the kimchee-coating-the kitchen way). Top off with spring water, leaving some air space. If you use tap water with chlorine, you will kill all of the bacteria and other probiotics. This defeats the purpose of making your own kimchee. Store in the fridge or root cellar. Enjoy!

 NOTES:

·         My wife named this recipe because “like a bad girlfriend, this kimchee hurts you badly, but you keep coming back for more.”

·         She also adds, “For god’s sake, do not have sex after making this kimchee, if you don’t wear gloves.” (Experience … enough said)