Shhhh! Don't tell my wife.

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FMD

Registered:1309800590
Posts: 1,327

Posted 1339806534	Reply with quote #1

School's out, so my wife and son are spending time in the cabin in the cool mountain air of N. Carolina... while I slave in the humidity of Tallahassee. On the list of instructions was to take care of her plants. That, I did. Yanked out the two boring topiary azaleas and planted my "Pride" and my "Joy" in their place. Hope she doesn't find out.... Attached Images photo.JPG (524.81 KB, 150 views) __________________ Frank Tallahassee, FL Zone 8b North Florida Figs

Dave

Registered:1312388324
Posts: 1,482

Posted 1339806824	Reply with quote #2

mum's the word .................. they look good __________________ Connecticut - Zone 6B Wish List - Bordissot negra rimada

Dieseler

Registered:1215735852
Posts: 8,252

Posted 1339807048	Reply with quote #3

I suggest having a dozen long stem roses awaiting in vase and a box of Godiva Chocolates waiting her arrival back home.

DesertDance

Registered:1247674606
Posts: 4,518

Posted 1339807846	Reply with quote #4

OMG! Does she have access to a 22? __________________ Zone 9b, Southern California. "First year they sleep, Second year they creep, Third year they leap!" Wish List: I wish all of you happy fig collecting! My wishes have been fulfilled!

Registered:1252379847
Posts: 1,162

Posted 1339808677	Reply with quote #5

Oh Frank! If I see a mushroom cloud, then I will know how it went. __________________ jd \| tallahassee.fl \| zone 8b

Gina

Registered:1330452963
Posts: 2,260

Posted 1339809819	Reply with quote #6

Quote: Hope she doesn't find out.... You're safe. She'll never notice. __________________ WillsC's new fig forum: http://www.Ourfigs.com (and blueberries)

rafed

Registered:1252876934
Posts: 5,308

Posted 1339809831	Reply with quote #7

Stand proud Frank,,, stand proud.

BronxFigs

Registered:1333154764
Posts: 1,864

Posted 1339810599	Reply with quote #8

What are you....a man, or, a mouse??? Tell her, that after making a valiant effort to save them, the Azaleas died in the heat, and you replaced them with tropical plants. If she buys that crock, you're home free. If she doesn't....do the dozen roses thing. And the Godiva Chocolates....you eat them, and tell her they were delicious. Good luck with that. : ) Frank __________________ Bronx, NYC Zone-7

BLB

Registered:1214341548
Posts: 2,936

Posted 1339811226	Reply with quote #9

I like the moxie, nice knowing ya though

Gina

Registered:1330452963
Posts: 2,260

Posted 1339814655	Reply with quote #10

Uh... when 'the dust clears', what's your wife going to do with the rest of your figs? Perhaps you could give her my email address. Tell her I'll be happy to pay postage. :) __________________ WillsC's new fig forum: http://www.Ourfigs.com (and blueberries)

Nichole

Registered:1333814555
Posts: 878

Posted 1339814881	Reply with quote #11

roses, foot rub, the works. I'd be pretty angry if my husband traded out my figs for azaleas ;) __________________ Seattle area - Zone 8b http://www.niroha.com Fig Inventory https://sites.google.com/site/nicholesgardeninventory/fig-trees Wish list: Barbillone, Black Triana, Brooklyn Dark, Brooklyn White, Figo Branco, Figo Preto, Grantham Royal, Grisse de St Jean, Honey Jumbo, LSU Gold, LSU Scott's Yellow, Matta, Noire De Caromb, Panevino Dark, Roja, Syrian Long, Uncle Corky's Honey Delight

DesertDance

Registered:1247674606
Posts: 4,518

Posted 1339815559	Reply with quote #12

I say, "Duck!" Look out! Retribution is coming! __________________ Zone 9b, Southern California. "First year they sleep, Second year they creep, Third year they leap!" Wish List: I wish all of you happy fig collecting! My wishes have been fulfilled!

TONYSAC

Registered:1337644850
Posts: 1,031

Posted 1339816371	Reply with quote #13

I dunno nuttin !!!! __________________ Anthony Garden city park, Long Island NY 11040 Zone 7b : 5 to 10 (F) (Nassau) FIGS4FUN1@aol.com Im here to help Crazy80z28 on Ebay Wish list... Hmmm more room.

Centurion

Registered:1293429646
Posts: 810

Posted 1339816725	Reply with quote #14

Ya...tell her they died, and that you replaced them with the fig trees. She'll be impressed....(maybe). __________________ Dave Verde Valley, AZ Zone 8

go4broek

Registered:1287592943
Posts: 1,200

Posted 1339816784	Reply with quote #15

Don't forget the "stand your ground" law in sunny FL. LOL __________________ Ruben Cibolo, TX/Zone 8b Wish List: Dalmatie, Italian 258, Martin's Unknown (not the Italian), CdD-N, NdC, Signora, Latarolla, Stella! Check out my online journal @ http://davesgarden.com/community/journals/vbc/go4broek/83546/

hoosierbanana

Registered:1287901146
Posts: 2,186

Posted 1339817438	Reply with quote #16

I hope she in away long enough for you to shape those figs into topiaries and pin some flowers on ; ) __________________ 7a, DE

Gina

Registered:1330452963
Posts: 2,260

Posted 1339824160	Reply with quote #17

Quote: Originally Posted by go4broek Don't forget the "stand your ground" law in sunny FL. LOL It's a good thing the Azaleas weren't armed. ;) __________________ WillsC's new fig forum: http://www.Ourfigs.com (and blueberries)

navillus

Registered:1317857703
Posts: 143

Posted 1339827276	Reply with quote #18

Hold on, hold on, OK. I had to put that on my list of what NOT to do. I guess I will be reading in the paper of a man in north Florida who had a big heart. That his wife took out with a butter knife. Ouch! On the bright side the pots and the plants look great. __________________ Charles Tampa, FL Z9b Wish List: LSU Red, LSU Thibidaux, Berbera, Ital 258, Maltese Falcon

noss

Registered:1244523274
Posts: 2,122

Posted 1339828618	Reply with quote #19

Uh, Just how attached to these azalea topiaries is she? noss __________________ noss/a.k.a. Vivian Lafayette, LA Zone 9a Wish List: Col de Dame Blanc, Col de Dame Noir, Scott's Yellow, Tony's Brown Italian, any other fig that is good in the rain/humidity and has a real figgy flavor.

rcantor

Registered:1309799312
Posts: 5,724

Posted 1339828699	Reply with quote #20

Quote: Originally Posted by Gina Quote: Hope she doesn't find out.... You're safe. She'll never notice. That's EXACTLY what I was going to say. __________________ Zone 6, MO Wish list: Galicia Negra, De La Reina - Pons, Genovese Nero - Rafed's, Sbayi, Souadi, Acciano, Any Rimada, Sodus Sicilian, any Bass, Pons or Axier fig, any great tasting fig.

JoAnn749

Registered:1325443625
Posts: 1,184

Posted 1339831262	Reply with quote #21

As long as you used the same pots........they are green......... Then, if she questions it again, tell her about the HUGE rabid raccoon that was about to attack so you had to defend yourself with her azaleas! You pulled them out of the pots and clubbed the rabid beast! __________________ Jo-Ann DFW TX, Zone 7b-8a Wish List: Black Madeira,, Kathleen's Black, Malta Black, Marseille VS Black, White Paradisio, LSU Scott's Black, Conadria, White Trianna, Marttineca Rimada, Excel, Peter's Honey, Bebera Preta (Abebereira), Strawberry Verte

BronxFigs

Registered:1333154764
Posts: 1,864

Posted 1339843943	Reply with quote #22

FMD.... Do you remember the story of John and Lorena Bobbitt? No? Yes? If I were you, I'd go buy a steel cod-piece! I hope you like Opera...you may be singin' soprano real soon! Frank __________________ Bronx, NYC Zone-7

rafed

Registered:1252876934
Posts: 5,308

Posted 1339856409	Reply with quote #23

HeHeHe

paully22

Registered:1195324538
Posts: 2,719

Posted 1339862304	Reply with quote #24

I know who is the BIG BOSS now.

Gina

Registered:1330452963
Posts: 2,260

Posted 1339862856	Reply with quote #25

Quote: Originally Posted by noss Uh, Just how attached to this azalea topiary is she? noss I know it's bad form to correct someone's diction ...and I apologize... but I believe that should read: "Uh, Just how attached to this azalea topiary WAS she?" ;) __________________ WillsC's new fig forum: http://www.Ourfigs.com (and blueberries)

svanessa

Registered:1189292564
Posts: 905

Posted 1339863622	Reply with quote #26

I almost snorted my coffee with these comments. ;-) Still laughing. Sue __________________ Sue Zone 9B, 1946' Ramona, CA San Diego County

Gina

Registered:1330452963
Posts: 2,260

Posted 1339864166	Reply with quote #27

I just connected the dots... You're the guy with the two lovely Alma trees by the pool... Don't leave town. Ever. __________________ WillsC's new fig forum: http://www.Ourfigs.com (and blueberries)

FMD

Registered:1309800590
Posts: 1,327

Posted 1339877728	Reply with quote #28

Sure, sure have your fun everyone... but you are missing the bigger picture here. I did this for you. For all fignuts! This one simple act of defiance will, in years to come, be canonized in song and legend as the "shot heard around the world". Just picture us yelling out the window, "We're mad as hell and we aren't going to take it any more!" This will ignite the birth of the FLM (Fignut Liberation Movement) that will fight to take back the gardens from our detractors ( or at least a good chunk of garden with morning sun) Stand tall, everyone, the battle for full fig rights has just begun!! -------------------------------------------------- I'm sure that when I explain it to my wife in these terms, she will be understanding. Perhaps even moved...and proud. Yes proud.. She will, won't she? Of course, she will... OK, on to Plan B. . __________________ Frank Tallahassee, FL Zone 8b North Florida Figs

paully22

Registered:1195324538
Posts: 2,719

Posted 1339878999	Reply with quote #29

FMD, variegated leave colors would be a nice a way to present the 2 pots. Florists do it all the time.

rafed

Registered:1252876934
Posts: 5,308

Posted 1339884415	Reply with quote #30

Do I need to explain?

The_celt

Registered:1291260537
Posts: 874

Posted 1339885917	Reply with quote #31

Lmao Rafed __________________ http://sumosteaks.com/

Figfinatic

Registered:1330272993
Posts: 761

Posted 1339887894	Reply with quote #32

Just blame the sickness, not the man. You can't be responsible for your actions. Until there are therapy programs for people like you, understanding, empathy, and compassion are what's required here. Yes, I've heard that Obama may put such a program together with his universal healthcare package. For now, maybe you just need to eat some more figs. Perhaps you are too crazed from withdrawal. __________________ Wish: Sbayi, passiflora incense, quadrangularis or others

pitangadiego

Moderator
Registered:1188871011
Posts: 5,447

Posted 1339892116	Reply with quote #33

You're a dead man, But I admire your items that Rafed feels are threatened. __________________ Encanto Farms Nursery http://encantofarms.com http://figs4fun.com http://webebananas.com "pitangadiego" everywhere

FMD

Registered:1309800590
Posts: 1,327

Posted 1339892518	Reply with quote #34

You guys think the battle is over? Over? Did you say over? Nothing is over till we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no! --Bluto __________________ Frank Tallahassee, FL Zone 8b North Florida Figs

Dieseler

Registered:1215735852
Posts: 8,252

Posted 1339892631	Reply with quote #35

You mean when Japan bombed Pearl . ; )

Darkman

Registered:1325731541
Posts: 629

Posted 1339894880	Reply with quote #36

Quote: Originally Posted by FMD This will ignite the birth of the FLM (Fignut Liberation Movement) One word! MARTYR If you survive you have my address. We'll fix a place for you and give you some Fig salve for your wounds. __________________ Charles in Pensacola AKA Darkman Zone 8b/9a Winter of 09/10 low 19 Winter of 10/11 low 19 Winter of 11/12 low 29 Winter of 12/13 low 31 Winter of 13/14 low 19

FMD

Registered:1309800590
Posts: 1,327

Posted 1339894921	Reply with quote #37

Quote: Originally Posted by Dieseler You mean when Japan bombed Pearl . ; ) Not according to Bluto,,, "The Animal House call to arms transcends its historical imprecision by appealing to the brotherhood of all men and, by implication, the universal desire to get tanked wearing a bedsheet. Toga! Toga!" __________________ Frank Tallahassee, FL Zone 8b North Florida Figs

striveforfreedom

Registered:1322497326
Posts: 437

Posted 1339895004	Reply with quote #38

Lovely looking fig trees. Best subject line ever!!! __________________ Vince Russo Norwalk, CT Zone 7A Wish list - Any cuttings of the Col de Dames would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Darkman

Registered:1325731541
Posts: 629

Posted 1339895215	Reply with quote #39

Quote: Originally Posted by Dieseler You mean when Japan bombed Pearl . ; ) Think "Animal House"! __________________ Charles in Pensacola AKA Darkman Zone 8b/9a Winter of 09/10 low 19 Winter of 10/11 low 19 Winter of 11/12 low 29 Winter of 12/13 low 31 Winter of 13/14 low 19

Gina

Registered:1330452963
Posts: 2,260

Posted 1339895657	Reply with quote #40

Bluto loved figs too. :) __________________ WillsC's new fig forum: http://www.Ourfigs.com (and blueberries)

rafed

Registered:1252876934
Posts: 5,308

Posted 1339896775	Reply with quote #41

He is,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

BronxFigs

Registered:1333154764
Posts: 1,864

Posted 1339897718	Reply with quote #42

FMD.... Thanks for the 'straight line'...and, we wrote the jokes... at your expense. Nice, lighthearted thread. We could all use a good laugh, now and then. Some very clever comments, and illustrations. Plenty of "spit-takes" in this thread. Thanks for having a great sense-of-humor...and thanks to all the frustrated stand-up comics who posted their "predictions". Almost as good as a Friar's Club Roast. Frank Post # 30...says it all. __________________ Bronx, NYC Zone-7

rafed

Registered:1252876934
Posts: 5,308

Posted 1339898125	Reply with quote #43

Frank ( Bronxfigs ) Laughter is good medicine. Good for the mine and soul. But,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,stick a fork in him. He's done!

BLB

Registered:1214341548
Posts: 2,936

Posted 1339899611	Reply with quote #44

Waiting with bated breath for the return of the wife

Centurion

Registered:1293429646
Posts: 810

Posted 1339900276	Reply with quote #45

Dead Man Walking... __________________ Dave Verde Valley, AZ Zone 8

Gina

Registered:1330452963
Posts: 2,260

Posted 1339902125	Reply with quote #46

Neighbors walking thru FMD's former fig orchard... __________________ WillsC's new fig forum: http://www.Ourfigs.com (and blueberries)

pitangadiego

Moderator
Registered:1188871011
Posts: 5,447

Posted 1339909572	Reply with quote #47

I was thinking more bulldozer and less chainsaw. __________________ Encanto Farms Nursery http://encantofarms.com http://figs4fun.com http://webebananas.com "pitangadiego" everywhere

james

Registered:1189185103
Posts: 1,653

Posted 1339910631	Reply with quote #48

It is more fun being single, anyway. __________________ In containers - Littleton, CO (zone 5b) In ground - N.E of Austin, TX (zone 8b) 2016 Wish List: Dārk Pōrtuguese, Grānthāms Royāl, Lātarolla, Negrettā, Nōire de Bārbentāne, Rockāway Green, Viōlet Sepōr, Viōlette Dāuphine. Iranian figs are always welcome.

noss

Registered:1244523274
Posts: 2,122

Posted 1339912642	Reply with quote #49

I stand corrected, Gina. Actually it should have been, Uh, just how attached to these azalea topiaries WAS she? There were two of them. I corrected my post to read topiaries, but left the WAS where it was. Correction correction: Uh, just how attached to these azalea topiaries IS she? I kinda like the HUGE, rabid raccoon story, as azaleas are poisonous, so of course you used them to help drive off the raccoon because you didn't want to get bitten and have to take those horrible shots and you were standing right near the azaleas when attacked. Now, I LIKE the fig topiary idea! I have GOT to get two matching fig trees and shape them like topiaries. That way, I can squeeze in even more fig trees. Great idea!!! noss noss __________________ noss/a.k.a. Vivian Lafayette, LA Zone 9a Wish List: Col de Dame Blanc, Col de Dame Noir, Scott's Yellow, Tony's Brown Italian, any other fig that is good in the rain/humidity and has a real figgy flavor.

pitangadiego

Moderator
Registered:1188871011
Posts: 5,447

Posted 1339966191	Reply with quote #50

The word was topiary, not shrub. Topiary sounds more serious than shrub, and probably has more attachment. __________________ Encanto Farms Nursery http://encantofarms.com http://figs4fun.com http://webebananas.com "pitangadiego" everywhere

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