Might not be on for awhile. it seems after 10 years my wife dont know what she wants. so i am forced to sleep in the woods without a tent. 3 kids. this is such bs. marry x-mass.

A good family life is much, much more important/better than them figs.
Take care.

Be well and good luck

Dave,
    So sorry to hear about your situation. Don't forget what we talked about last week..."hold on to what you got"....If you want to talk, please contact me somehow.
                                                                     Your Friend.....

Sorry to hear that Dave.
I went through that 10 years ago. I had two young kids. Now got a new wife and she is a sweetheart.
Take care of yourself and your kids: the rest will come around. She will realize  what she is loosing and it will be her loss.
Sal

Been there done that Dave I know its easy for all of us to say stuff on the other end of a pc but all I can say is hang in there and I hope she comes around and everything works out for the best.

Dave,

  Advice from a stranger: Don't let the bitterness dominate the situation or your life. The sun will come up tomorrow. Decide how to greet it.

Sorry to hear of this.  My prayers are for both of you.

Dave I also am so sorry to hear of your situation. My prayers are sent for all of you . My best to you and your children.

Dave, I hope you see this.  At times like this it's very important to get professional help.  If either of you have insurance it'll cover it.  If not, many churches and non-profits have help.  If she wont go with you, you go.  Best of luck to you.

Well, devastating news!  Jeeze!  Dave, hang in there.  Lose the figs!  Go for the lady!  Figs and animals are NOT people, but somehow she doesn't get it.  No psychologist here.  Just a friend, and wow!  Don't know you or the situation, but what I do know is YOU need to VENT, and BRING IT!  WE are here for YOU!

OLD Wench, AKA Suzi

Old wench AKA Suzi ........I love it

Sorry to hear that this is going on Dave. My prayers are with you. Hope everything works out for you.

we sat down to talk about things like adults after cooling off. we worked out a plan that will be good all around. she says i am a good person that deserves better than her. and she dosent what to hurt anyone but she needs to find out what she wants in life. so as much as i dont like it, she deserves to find what she needs whatever it is. Its not the figs Suzi, we were young when we got together and started a family. it happend oh so fast. she said she doent know if she just wants to be alone. and has issues herself to deal with. who am i to argue with that. she wants space i will give it to her. she comes back all the better. i guess nether one of has been happy for the past couple years. i hope this helps the both of us out. sorry for doing this here. i just dont have anybody to talk to so the pc is my only outlet.

She told me to not stop growing figs or other plants and to only expand as what i do with them helps people out. so the figs are all doing great. getting some good roots on some of em. if i knew how to erase this threde i would in the morning.

marry xmass and have a wonderful time.
Dave

Dave - OMG we all need an outlet and a place to vent!!  I'm think most if not everyone here has experienced something like that on one level or another!!  I know I have!  We had a period of about 8 years that was anything but a bowl of cherries!  I think people in general have expectations that are not realistic.  I've had a few couples in my own family (including cousins)  break up after 20 years.  Most of the time it was the wife who said "I want out, I don't love you anymore!"  Not that I am biased, but the men (my blood relatives) were good husbands and fathers - didn't drink, chase skirts, or any other types of bad for a marriage behavior.  Life is hard, relationships take work.

I have been with my significant other for 26 years, and yes there were times that were not very good.  He became sick with a chronic illness and is now disabled - this is not how I thought my life would be - neither did he.  This is the hand we were dealt, this is what I have to work with.  It has forced me to go way out of my comfort zone and do things I had no idea I was capable of doing!!  And do you want to know something?  It has made me a better person, a more confident person, and someone who is willing to go out on that limb to pick the fruit even if I don't want to or feel like it (borrowed from Suzi's Mark Twain quote in her signature line). 

Of course the two of you aren't the same as when you first got together - I would hope not!!   Sometimes people do grow apart. Sometimes people need to do something that isn't part of the relationship - to have their own identity.   What has helped me is being able to do other things to get away for a while - hours, not days lol. I do work outside the home (thank God) and I am working on other things also and have a side job that is sporadic.  We don't have children, in a way that is good then it is not - but it is that way.  I know the other side of the fence is no greener then mine, it just might be different - but the same thing.

I don't know if putting this out there on a public forum is the best idea I have, but there are a lot of people who read this and don't post.  Maybe someone will think about their own life and relationship or someone who is close to them, and just maybe think about things a little differently.

Best wishes to you and your family.

Hint:
A few nice red rose flowers may be helpful.
Women do,do love both the flowers and the implied good gesture.

dave, i'm sure things will work out for you. time resolves everything.

Dave,

     I agree with Bob. You need someone trained to talk to face-to-face. Even if you and your wife have defined a path, you need some objective perspective from a professional. Somehow we get the notion that we should be able to handle novel  major crises in stride because we're grown-ups, but it ain't necessarily so.  Do yourself and your family a favor and find a counselor.

Glad your talking it out.....It's good to have you back on the Forum...we missed you ....even if it was only for a day.

I'm a strong believer in 'everything happens for a reason'.  So while it doesn't make sense now, it will in due time.  As everyone mentioned, we're here to help you out buddy.  Venting does help.

Dave,

These dark cold days will pass. I hope you look after yourself and keep the courage to continue asking others for help. 

Best wishes,

Ivan

Dave, don't erase this thread!  It probably helps more people than you know!  Not everyone vents online, but your honesty has helped many readers here, no doubt! 
Hang in there!  We are pulling for you!

Suzi

Dave, hope things go well for you...we're all pulling for you. Hang in there and please know that we care.