Hi jenn42,
In ground trees can be staked with big stakes up to 3 centimeters big/width and one to one meter and a half of height (I use those round posts).
In pot, you have two options.
The first is to put the stake in the pot, and so you can only use thin stakes. I would use tomato twisted stakes.
The second option is to put the stakes in the dirt around the pot (around the pot - outside of the pot ). You could use whatever the size you like for the stake.
Of course if the pot is on concrete ...
Option one will not help with the wind making your pots fall to the side, so I would go for option two.
You could put four stakes -E,N,S,W- around the pot, and the pot will no longer move, while allowing you to attach some stems to those outside stakes.
The system that James has done is another good option. It all depends on how many pots you do have to secure.