Message to Jon and my friends (update post #$49)

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rafed

Registered:1252876934
Posts: 5,308

Posted 1407545931	Reply with quote #1

Jon, A few years ago someone attacked my brother. I confronted this person and others jumped in. I was alone. One of the thugs was a bit bigger than me (stocky). We got into a scuffle while his father stood and watched. When I over powered this young punk only then did his father intervene. Took several other people to get me off him too. What does this have to do with you? It's simple. I've been here for almost five loyal years with you. I have never ever seen you block two topics in a matter of two days. And coincidently, it involved Aaron. There have been other heated discussions and far worse that went ignored. But finally people are expressing their displeasure of Aaron and you just simply hit the lock button. What are you trying to protect? Your interest (Aaron)? Can you explain? You owe it to your members. They have the right to know. It's too bad it had to get to this Jon. I'm not going to continue to pound on you out in the open. I still have a bit of respect for you. But you've shown your true colors. Let me make this very clear. Don't think for one minute I am leaving because of Aaron and that other scrub Rich. I am leaving because you don't deserve my support anymore. There is no way in this world I will participate in a forum who's owner encourages this behavior of misleading, misinforming and yes, fig naming at will. You are sending the wrong message. But I guess we over look our integrity in the name of obtaining that special fig. Damn shame. **************************************************************************** To my dearest friends, I am sorry this has to come to an end. I tried to be a good citizen but I feel I have failed you at the end. I just cannot with a good conscience support this place anymore. The message was clear. I did my best to keep the unit together and bring it back to its' glory days when everyone was happy with another and there was nothing but love. Things got out of hand unfortunately and it's time to say good bye. I will miss each and everyone of you. Love you all. But you will find me posting in the Gardenweb from time to time. I am planning something anyway. It will take a little while but I will pop up again. ************************************************************************** Too all the newbies, Please please please, Do not think for a minute we hate you. Do not listen to the trouble makers and story twisters. These older members are only trying to help. Reach out to them and they will be there for you. As others have reached out to me. They know who they are. ************************************************************************** To my dear friend Wills, Listen to me brother, let it go! Your voice was heard from the highest peak. Others have responded and stood to your side. That alone speaks volume. **************************************************************************** I don't know if this thread will get deleted but I will wait a couple days before I close my membership here. Good luck to everyone, Signing off.

DesertDance

Registered:1247674606
Posts: 4,518

Posted 1407546738	Reply with quote #2

Are you sure, Rafed? You are one of the good ones! Who's gonna run the Superbowl pool? Not Jon! You have my email. Stay in touch. Your loyal friend, Suzi __________________ Zone 9b, Southern California. "First year they sleep, Second year they creep, Third year they leap!" Wish List: I wish all of you happy fig collecting! My wishes have been fulfilled!

BLB

Registered:1214341548
Posts: 2,936

Posted 1407546812	Reply with quote #3

say it isn't so!!

newnandawg

Registered:1344130335
Posts: 2,535

Posted 1407547217	Reply with quote #4

Rafed, check your email please

mgginva

Registered:1320266925
Posts: 1,857

Posted 1407547339	Reply with quote #5

Worse day ever on this site!!!!!!!!!!!!!! __________________ Michael in Virginia (zone 7a) Wish list: Perretta,

FigaroNewton

Registered:1403556278
Posts: 75

Posted 1407547550	Reply with quote #6

Wishing you the best. I am saddened at my timing in joining the forum. The upheaval, turmoil, and loss of some of the anchors of the forum is such a shame, but I'm hopeful that things will settle down, in time. I will miss your posts. Regards, bill __________________ Billy - Middle Tennessee Seeking: C'hiapetta, A'driatic JH, and S'mith maybe 2 cuttings or so of each. Thank-you.

newnandawg

Registered:1344130335
Posts: 2,535

Posted 1407547578	Reply with quote #7

yep it is

gorgi

Registered:1188888396
Posts: 2,864

Posted 1407547877	Reply with quote #8

Hang on Rafed, One of my native old sayings (loosely translated): Good-oil (truth) will always surface above dirty-water (lies). __________________ George, NJ_z7a.

vito12831

Registered:1256950611
Posts: 840

Posted 1407547994	Reply with quote #9

Very very sad Rafed:-( :-( :-(. Check your email Vito

Hoosierguy86

Registered:1375830122
Posts: 246

Posted 1407548092	Reply with quote #10

I really hate seeing it come to this! Rafed has so many things to teach us new folks. The other thread was locked but I want to make it perfectly clear my experiences with those that have been on this forum for a long time have been nothing short of amazing. So knowledgeable, generous, kind, and just great people. Even though I can tell he is completely over this forum Rafed has still offered to help me with my newbie questions. I think those that know him or have interacted with him on a personal level know he has a passion for figs and even more for helping people with figs. Sad sad day. Rafed, thank you for your contributions. That is something intangible that cannot be taken away. __________________ Scott N. Indiana 5b/6a

Hershell

Registered:1396922438
Posts: 650

Posted 1407548468	Reply with quote #11

I can't be leave it! __________________ Hershell Zone 8. Ray City, Ga.

WillsC

Registered:1348087628
Posts: 1,698

Posted 1407549018	Reply with quote #12

sigh

pino

Registered:1383190021
Posts: 2,118

Posted 1407549118	Reply with quote #13

Rafed, This is too sad. I have enjoyed reading your informative posts and seeing samples of your nice fig collection. Is there another way to resolve this? Maybe some change for the better something that benefits the forum and everyone can stay and grow and share fig growing knowledge? __________________ Pino, zone 6, Niagara, JCJ Acres Wish; Peace on earth and more figs Italian 258, Galicia Negra, Luv, trade suggestions welcome.

FMD

Registered:1309800590
Posts: 1,327

Posted 1407551293	Reply with quote #14

This is a sad day for the forum, Rafed. It is a sad day for the many, many members who are proud to have become your friends over the past several years. You have been Jon's biggest booster, earning the foundation a BUNCH of money as well as respect. You have bent over backwards selflessly helping newbies and established members alike . Your problem, Rafed, is that you cared too much. If I had half your integrity I would follow you out the door. Alas, I remain. You will be missed, bro. See you on Gardeweb __________________ Frank Tallahassee, FL Zone 8b North Florida Figs

kubota1

Registered:1342900232
Posts: 1,364

Posted 1407551485	Reply with quote #15

Rafed, Say it ain't so bro. You are one of the major reasons that I and others are on this forum. __________________ Art- Western Pa. 6a

HarveyC

Registered:1212433117
Posts: 3,294

Posted 1407551531	Reply with quote #16

Sad to see this Rafed. Hope you stay in contact via email and get out to visit my place some day! __________________ Harvey - Correia Farms Isleton, CA (Sacramento County) USDA zone 9b, Sunset zone 14 http://www.figaholics.com https://www.facebook.com/Figaholics

figgary

Registered:1387147322
Posts: 834

Posted 1407551824	Reply with quote #17

This is the first 'forum' that I've been involved with, and I think I have much to learn. I'm sorry to read all of this, and I wish you all the best, Rafed. You truly deserve it. Gary (a newbie) in CA __________________ Gary in CA 9A Seeking: Bebera Branca*, Colonel Littman's Cross

Lebmark

Registered:1345531613
Posts: 327

Posted 1407551825	Reply with quote #18

Rafed, sad to hear that you are leaving...hope to keep in touch... Mark __________________ Zone 7 Brooklyn,NY. Fig Wish List 2014: I-258 Genovese Nero, Violet Dauphine , Noir De Caromb, ROUGE DE BORDEAUX , BARNISOTTE, BARNISOTTE GRIS, Anything Lebanese ( I mean Fruit Plants...That I do Not Have...)

Registered:1252379847
Posts: 1,162

Posted 1407552730	Reply with quote #19

Mahalo Bro. I will find you in the drift. __________________ jd \| tallahassee.fl \| zone 8b

hoosierbanana

Registered:1287901146
Posts: 2,186

Posted 1407553140	Reply with quote #20

Your health and happiness comes first Rafed. __________________ 7a, DE

Quackmaster

Registered:1370361410
Posts: 769

Posted 1407553736	Reply with quote #21

This is a sad day, I wish you the best, and thank you for everything I learned from you and what you have contributed, Rafed. Some of my most prized figs come from you and I also thank you for that. Don't be a stranger! __________________ Ryan Zone 9a SeLa, wish list:

FiggyFrank

Registered:1347560723
Posts: 2,713

Posted 1407553832	Reply with quote #22

Rafed, I hated reading that but I understand. I'll email you soon with my cuttings results. Always know you can reach out to me for anything brother. Take good care and god bless. __________________ Frank zone 7a - VA

ajv73

Registered:1403132563
Posts: 141

Posted 1407554113	Reply with quote #23

I haven't been on the forum for a few days. So I missed all that's going on. To bad things have gotten so personal. As many of you know I'm new. I just want to learn about figs. So I hate to see someone like Rafed, or anyone else with knowledge, leave the forum. I hope Rafed and the other talking of leaving reconsider. __________________ Tony V. - Western PA, Zone 6a

Gina

Registered:1330452963
Posts: 2,260

Posted 1407554696	Reply with quote #24

Hi Rafed. I haven't been here much lately as mentioned in the now-locked thread, so I didn't realize things had gotten so bad here. I'm very sorry to see you leave. I've always enjoyed your posts - and I enjoy many of the figs in my yard that have successfully grown from cuttings you have given me. Thank you again, my friend! Meeting you here has been a pleasure. Is anyone still posting at Fig.Yuku.com? Jon, you really have dropped the ball on this one. How disappointing. __________________ WillsC's new fig forum: http://www.Ourfigs.com (and blueberries)

Matt_from_Pittsburgh

Registered:1232252573
Posts: 227

Posted 1407556087	Reply with quote #25

There are a ton of great people on this forum. There are very few who have contributed as much as Rafed. I don't know the whole story here, but I find it troubling and just plain sad that a guy like Rafed--who clearly loves the hobby, who has taken a leadership role in the success of the forum and the foundation, who has made lots of friends here, and who has demonstrated kindness and generosity over and over again to members old and new--would choose to walk away. Rafed--I hope you don't go, I'll be sad to see you go if you do, but I know you have your reasons and I respect that. It seems like a lot of the best people have dropped out lately. I don't know what we can do to fix that, but I really hope we can figure it out. __________________ Matt Pittsburgh, PA Zone 6ish

OttawanZ5

Registered:1192897779
Posts: 2,551

Posted 1407556226	Reply with quote #26

Rafed As you mentioned that you will stay as a member for a while, please do that. There is always probability/possibility of a good reason happening that can change one's mind. I hope it happens that way. Stay in the background for a while as many of us sometimes do for a long periods. You had picked up the right avatar for your jungle... __________________ Ottawan-Z5a, Canada

SCfigFanatic

Registered:1396099670
Posts: 143

Posted 1407556396	Reply with quote #27

It seems to say a lot with his deciding to go. Doug

LizzieB

Registered:1397581699
Posts: 84

Posted 1407559293	Reply with quote #28

I'm sorry to see this thread of old friends. When I found this forum it was the best I've ever seen. Anywhere. Everyone sharing the same passion, true teamwork. Seasoned members growing and helping newbies. Problem solving and solution finding. Commiserating when the weather and bugs are against us. Fiddling with the best way to get this amazing weed to grow in our favor, sometimes against all odds. What a very, very sad day. __________________ Luise Area 7 a, Central North Carolina W-S Celeste UNK, 15 year old disease free, very abundant, nice sized fruit. I've got the fever, as Ms.Javajunkie gifted me so very many cuttings. Experimentation in progress... all of my own cuttings got slimy. Ms.Javajunkie gifts are showing tiny leaves and roots. So very excited Black Greek, Po di Limone and Black Triana are growing in little cups.

Tonycm

Registered:1314411773
Posts: 922

Posted 1407559889	Reply with quote #29

Rafed don't let one thorn in your paw stop you from walking. Pull it out and keep going! At worst, stay behind the scenes and re-lurk for awhile. I've learned a lot from your posts and still need to learn more. __________________ Zone 6a Sarver, PA Wish list; Rafed's Genovese Nero

paully22

Registered:1195324538
Posts: 2,719

Posted 1407565358	Reply with quote #30

Some threads are not worth my time. Rafed, all the best. Without F4F we would not have cross paths and become good family friends. I do hope U would make a U-turn. If not, I am sure we will stay in touch.

elin

Registered:1360863025
Posts: 1,272

Posted 1407568173	Reply with quote #31

Rafed Hi Same as paully22... Are you serious about leaving the forum or just teasing? :) __________________ Eli ,Israel ,Zone 10? Too humid and hot, yada yada yada https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1298814119 Growing: Sbayi, Hmadi, Black Portugal, Black Brazil,Excell, Flanders, Hmari , RDB, Niagra Black,Natalina, CDDN,Maya, Preto Torres, Preto Arge

cis4elk

Registered:1347840383
Posts: 1,718

Posted 1407570441	Reply with quote #32

This is too bad. Best to you Rafed. Well, maybe I'll start checking into GW again from time to time, I haven't been there in awhile. __________________ Calvin Littleton,CO z5/6 Wants List: For everyone to clean-up after themselves and co-exist peacefully. Let's think more about the future of our planet and less about ourselves. :)

twovkay

Registered:1340623156
Posts: 264

Posted 1407575111	Reply with quote #33

This is a sad day. __________________ Von Northern VA 7a

Ampersand

Registered:1389979527
Posts: 728

Posted 1407579364	Reply with quote #34

Best wishes Rafed, hopefully the rest of us can bring the forum back up to standards and you will return with the others who have left.

Luke

Registered:1338621371
Posts: 204

Posted 1407580131	Reply with quote #35

I have not been online for a few days so I have missed all the action also. But please reconsider leaving you are a key member here. __________________ Luke 8b, England. Wish list: Olympian, Malta black, Nero 600m/400m(Vallecald),Tacoma Violet,

bo3antar

Registered:1362856335
Posts: 22

Posted 1407582123	Reply with quote #36

Do not leave, you may ignore or correct misinformation. This forum is very helpful for us. we have many varieties of fig. should we destroy all the varieties BECAUSE SOME TASTE BAD. Do we have to leave the forums if some act bad ? IF YOU CARE FOR JON AND FRIENDS, DO NOT LEAVE Ask JON to delete this post and see how happy he will __________________ Kuwait

garden_whisperer

Registered:1353347580
Posts: 1,613

Posted 1407586147	Reply with quote #37

Sad indeed, I for one will hate to see you go, as i am sure many others will as well. I have been busy as of late and have not seen the topics in question. however i do remember in the past there being a few folks who seemed to join just to break up the harmony that we all shared. it made things uneasy for awhile, but after awhile they went away. in the end you have to do what you feel is right. the advice you and many others have given has proved to be good as gold. hope this clears up and you can be happy here once more. you know how to get in touch if you ever feel the need. Dave __________________ Dave Zone 6b Illinois "Be the change you wish to see in the world"

greysmith

Registered:1394039826
Posts: 254

Posted 1407587732	Reply with quote #38

I missed the posts that caused the uproar so I don't know what this is all about. So, of course, I'm going to mouth off about it. Every organization has abrasive personalities, and politics, lots of politics. I'm seeing a lot of blame being put on Jon. I haven't really looked at the organizational setup for the forum (where would I go to do that? Are there bylaws, a policies and procedures manual?) but I think there's a structural problem. If he's policing the forum alone then, in his position, if you're fair, you catch it from both sides. Yeah, you need one person who can take fast action to nip problems in the bud, but there needs to be a evaluation committee, with representatives of the community, behind him to settle any controversy like this. The board of directors, or executive committee, or whatever it is, should step in and say "We've looked at both sides and here's what we're going to do about it". There needs to be a court of appeals with more than one member to insure that issues get debated properly. It's harder for a committee to be a tyrant. If you are going to loose members it's better to throw out the troublemakers than have members of good conscience voting with their feet. In my younger days I was usually the loose cannon getting called on the carpet so I'm familiar with the process. But, even the worst of us grow out of it eventually, and it's been hours and hours since I've been in trouble with the propriety wardens. With wise counsel and firm guidance the straying lambs can be brought back to the fold. So, Jon. Flog the miscreants and break out the grog. __________________ S central KY, zone 6b

strudeldog

Registered:1278124225
Posts: 747

Posted 1407588715	Reply with quote #39

Very upsetting to state the least, but I understand. I have not been on the forum except for glance for the last week or so. Kind of on a mini break as some of the same personalities that bother you irritate me and I often just try to ignore the ignorance, but I guess I take the weak way out, and understand why maybe yourself and others feel more compelled to confront the ignorance. Just as last year when a few significant individuals left it was upsetting as well. A couple crossed the line of decency and civil communications, and some that stayed did as well. Some of the same things the departed were upset about I agreed with completely. Jon does not moderate this forum in my opinion and has basically stated as such. Do I agree with that no, do I accept it yes. Maybe I am too compromising in my tolerance, and have not confronted the level of ignorance and arrogance that Aaron exhibits, but don’t think I just jumped on the dislike wagon as I have been there pretty much since post 1, but just choose to mostly ignore. You can call me targeting him, and fine I don’t care. There are few are high on that list of irritating, and I am sure I am on some dislike list, but in general I find they are far outweighed by in general with the good nature of the majority so while we all get frustrated at times and as other have stated I would ask reconsider. __________________ Phil N.GA. Zone 7 Looking for: De La Reina, Del La Senyora, Martinenca Rimada, Parfum De Cafards, Ponte Tresa, Sangue Dulce, Emalyn's Purple, and on and on

ForeverFigs

Registered:1351425467
Posts: 1,062

Posted 1407589253	Reply with quote #40

Rafed...very sorry to hear you are leaving the Forum...I have learned many things from your instructive posts, as well as your personal encouragement from time to time...I wish you all the best in your future endeavors...you will be missed. __________________ Vince Edison N.J. Zone 6b Wish List: LaRadek's EBT

Rewton

Registered:1291943117
Posts: 1,946

Posted 1407590102	Reply with quote #41

Rafed, so sorry to read this. I really think a large part of this hobby we have is interacting with members of the community - that's a lot of what drives my passion anyway. So sad to see one of the most significant members of the forum silenced in this way. I hope this isn't the end of your interaction with the fig community and we get to share our interest in figs once again. __________________ Steve MD zone 7a

waynea

Registered:1362316304
Posts: 1,886

Posted 1407593197	Reply with quote #42

Hey Rafed. I have not visited GardenWeb in a long time, I hope my membership still exists because I will be checking every day for your posts. I am checking today and I hope others will, so post something asap. Thanks for helping everyone out with their fig experiences.

ascpete

Registered:1336096379
Posts: 1,942

Posted 1407594158	Reply with quote #43

Rafed, Any community requires diversity. This Forum Community needs diverse members that will engage in discourse and dialogue, with civility. There will always be trolls that come and go, but the community depends on committed passionate members to be successful. You have shown yourself to be a passionate member, thank you. Best wishes in the future. Pete S.

GRamaley

Registered:1357742252
Posts: 791

Posted 1407594657	Reply with quote #44

It makes me sad to see you go, I have stopped coming to the forum as much because of some of the same issues, but you were one of the first to chat with me and help me out when I had so many newbie questions. You were always nice and great to talk to. I hope we can continue to keep in touch. __________________ Gloria --------------- 7a, maybe 8

rafed

Registered:1252876934
Posts: 5,308

Posted 1407595271	Reply with quote #45

Thank you all for your support and well wishes. The responses through the forum, PM's and emails have been over whelming. For those of you who wish to stay in contact with me please send me a note via email only. I will save your information and will be there for you if you ever need me. I will do my best to help. But please do so soon because I am canceling my account here tomorrow. Thank you and good luck.

OttawanZ5

Registered:1192897779
Posts: 2,551

Posted 1407595696	Reply with quote #46

Rafed I hope you read this thread. Some in their disbelief feel resigned that you may decide to leave. But so many are asking you to stay and they hope that you will stay. Don't disappoint so many of your friends. Leaving will give you some temporary satisfaction. Forgive this time, stay and enjoy the joy of forgiveness. You will never regret it. __________________ Ottawan-Z5a, Canada

OttawanZ5

Registered:1192897779
Posts: 2,551

Posted 1407596029	Reply with quote #47

See my disappointment. It took me ten minutes to put my thoughts and Rafed beat me by 8 minutes. But I am still hhopeful. __________________ Ottawan-Z5a, Canada

drivewayfarmer

Registered:1260287641
Posts: 773

Posted 1407596693	Reply with quote #48

Hope something will change your mind before tomorrow and that you will decide to stay. Your a keystone member here. __________________ Kerry Zone 5 NH Wish list :Galicia Negra , Col de Dame Blanca/Negra .

Pattee

Registered:1345750012
Posts: 1,417

Posted 1407598441	Reply with quote #49

Rafed, I too am saddened about your leaving. Please reconsider. __________________ 7a & 9b ►I assume all my figs carry FMV ◄ Seeking : Italian 376,395 , Galicia Negra, Negretta,UNK Pastilliere ,Pananas Purple, Malta Blk+purple/red, Italian + Calabrian UNK's , Catanzaro, Malone, Sucrette(Baud) "We may have our private opinions but why should they be a bar to the meeting of hearts?" - Gandhi

Tam

Registered:1365478628
Posts: 1,084

Posted 1407600586	Reply with quote #50

Rafed, everything is in a state of constant transformation; therefore, you must learn not to become attached to anything that other people had said. They said uncertainties which you took these doubts and engraved in your memory. These uncertainties reappear in the form of thoughts and they are the cause of all human suffering. There is no certainty in the real world. The real world is in a constant state of change and remember nothing that exists is immutable, nothing remains the same all the time. So, non-attachment is the key that opens the door to liberation from suffering. Non-attachment is love, whereas the result of attachment is selfishness. In fact, if you no longer become attached to anything, all your worries, your problems, your anxieties, your fears; in other words, your mental suffering will melt away like snow in the sun. Rafed, learn to observe your thoughts with detachment, you will discover a great unsuspected truth and the true happiness is inside you if you do not attach to anything that other members had said. If you practice detached observation of thought, vain thoughts will cease and you will dwell in pure consciousness. The true hero never fade away and never leave other members behind, but he must stay to lead, help others, share his experiences and contributions to the FIG COMMUNITY. I have a feeling in order to have Rafed change his mind and stay with the Fig Community, we need to have a vote on his departure. We need to have 30 votes for him to change his mind. I NEED OTHER 29 MEMBERS VOTE YES: RAFED PLEASE STAY WITH THE FIG COMMUNITY. 1 YES Best, Tam

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