BLB
Registered:1214341548 Posts: 2,936
Posted 1350358910
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#1
So I'm at Walmart buying a bag of Purina dog food for my dogs. While in the check-out line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog food, RIGHT??? So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again, and that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intens...ive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Better watch what you ask me and be prepared for my answer. I have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. Now that you've read this I have to confess, I copied it now copy and share make someone else laugh
TONYSAC
Registered:1337644850 Posts: 1,031
Posted 1350359813
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#2
PRICELESS!!!!
__________________ Anthony Garden city park, Long Island NY 11040 Zone 7b : 5 to 10 (F) (Nassau) FIGS4FUN1@aol.com Im here to help Crazy80z28 on Ebay Wish list... Hmmm more room.
TucsonKen
Registered:1246833094 Posts: 1,298
Posted 1350359946
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#3
I don't often laugh out loud at something I read, but you got me!
__________________ Ken
Tucson, Arizona
Zone 8b
JoAnn749
Registered:1325443625 Posts: 1,184
Posted 1350359955
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#4
That was a hoot!!!! LOL LOL LOL Thanks! Tears rolled down my cheeks!
__________________ Jo-Ann DFW TX, Zone 7b-8a Wish List: Black Madeira,, Kathleen's Black, Malta Black, Marseille VS Black, White Paradisio, LSU Scott's Black, Conadria, White Trianna, Marttineca Rimada, Excel, Peter's Honey, Bebera Preta (Abebereira), Strawberry Verte
BLB
Registered:1214341548 Posts: 2,936
Posted 1350399648
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#5
So glad you enjoy this little story and I wish it were me that did this. I also laughed out loud when I first read it. I have an old band buddy to thank for this one
Gina
Registered:1330452963 Posts: 2,260
Posted 1350400126
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#6
Hee, hee... That is funny no matter where the story came from.
__________________ WillsC's new fig forum: http://www.Ourfigs.com (and blueberries)
lukeott
Registered:1311470849 Posts: 645
Posted 1350400942
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#7
So Barry, You like Poodles luke
eden13
Registered:1340340693 Posts: 788
Posted 1350404636
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#8
Berry You are unbelievable LoL.
__________________ Wish List: Col de Dame Negra and Gris, Noire de Caramba, Abicou Noire, Zingarella, Sultan, Dalmatie and any Yugoslavian(Bosnian, Serbian,Croatian...).
Atlanta, Georgia
Eden
DesertDance
Registered:1247674606 Posts: 4,518
Posted 1350405479
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#9
Amazing! Walmart.... Another world! Loved it!! Suzi
__________________ Zone 9b, Southern California. "First year they sleep, Second year they creep, Third year they leap!" Wish List: I wish all of you happy fig collecting! My wishes have been fulfilled!
pitangadiego
Moderator
Registered:1188871011 Posts: 5,447
Posted 1350411098
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#10
Some questions just deserve an answer like that.
__________________ Encanto Farms Nursery
http://encantofarms.com
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"pitangadiego" everywhere
snaglpus
Registered:1244258188 Posts: 4,072
Posted 1350414770
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#11
Love it! Great response! I gota share that one with my weight watcher friends!
__________________ Dennis Charlotte, North Carolina/Zone 8a
gorgi
Registered:1188888396 Posts: 2,864
Posted 1350417623
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#12
Very funny!
__________________ George, NJ_z7a.
rookie
Registered:1339168097 Posts: 384
Posted 1350431368
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#13
too funny Barry!!!
__________________ Scott, Long Island ,NY All my figs have been exposed to FMV,some have it, some don't. It doesn't seem to bother them so it doesn't bother me.
dawgdrvr
Registered:1326421951 Posts: 217
Posted 1350433756
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#14
That is too funny ;-)
__________________ Cody
Grand Mound,WA 98579
Plantmaps Zone 7~A, Sunset Zone 4 and USDA Zone 8~A.
WISH LIST: San Pedro ,Breba & Early crop Figs and ANY figs from 'Belleclare Nursery'
ChillyNPhilly
Registered:1356891528 Posts: 365
Posted 1359757674
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#15
Quote:
Originally Posted by BLB <span class="userContent">So I'm at Walmart buying a bag of Purina dog food for my dogs. While in the check-out line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog food, RIGHT??? So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again, and that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intens...ive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Better watch what you ask me and be prepared for my answer. I have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. Now that you've read this I have to confess, I copied it now copy and share make someone else laugh</span>
Here's what I was towkin about Barry:) I shoulda read a little further down.
__________________ Donna
Philadelphia Zone 7
saxonfig
Registered:1258080612 Posts: 1,370
Posted 1359767315
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#16
Laughed so hard I thought I was going to have a sillygism!! I think this story alone would be a good diet for my wife because she was laughing her butt off when I read it to her - Ta-Ching-Boom!!
__________________Fig Well An d Prosper! Bill - SW KY. Zone 6b. 36.5N I'm fruitnut on ebay.
NZFig
Registered:1350986843 Posts: 73
Posted 1359767877
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#17
LOL priceless! I cant stop laughing, dont you just love smart questions like that...
__________________ Dan
Auckland N.Z
rafed
Registered:1252876934 Posts: 5,308
Posted 1359767958
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#18
Hey Barry, Lay off the legs.
Dieseler
Registered:1215735852 Posts: 8,252
Posted 1359769326
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#19
Good one Barry !
HarveyC
Registered:1212433117 Posts: 3,294
Posted 1359770451
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#20
Facebook material ;)
__________________Harvey - Correia Farms Isleton, CA (Sacramento County) USDA zone 9b, Sunset zone 14
http://www.figaholics.com https://www.facebook.com/Figaholics
BLB
Registered:1214341548 Posts: 2,936
Posted 1359775317
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#21
Chilly, I totally forgot I posted this. I got it from a facebook friend who is one of the funniest guys I know, glad everyone enjoyed it!
Dieseler
Registered:1215735852 Posts: 8,252
Posted 1359782187
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#22
Might you have any fig related jokes , course that first one may be hard to top.
hoosierquilt
Registered:1349823353 Posts: 184
Posted 1359782857
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#23
Okay, that was totally hysterical. I'm still laughing. Don't you wish you could think of these things when someone asks you a question like that? Priceless.
__________________ Patty S.
Vista, CA
USDA 10a/Sunset 23- "Best Weather in the USA"
jenniferarino83
Registered:1335709464 Posts: 1,076
Posted 1359784624
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#24
Quote:
Originally Posted by BLB So glad you enjoy this little story and I wish it were me that did this. I also laughed out loud when I first read it. I have an old band buddy to thank for this one
Hahahaha!!!!! Omg I shared this on my FB. Told my friends via text about the story. They loved it. I copied and pasted too.
I added you to FB :-)
__________________ Jennifer A. Brown Wishlist: NONE Boise ID ZONE 5
musillid
Registered:1327758167 Posts: 1,507
Posted 1359808685
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#25
Barry, Your story reminded me of my father. Not known for his humor, he was a master of the set-up and could make you feel real small real quick with knock-out punchlines. Thanks for the laugh.
__________________ Dale
non compost mentis in Zone 6a