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BLB

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So I'm at Walmart buying a bag of Purina dog food for my dogs. While in the check-out line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog food, RIGHT??? So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again, and that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intens...ive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Better watch what you ask me and be prepared for my answer. I have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. Now that you've read this I have to confess, I copied it now copy and share make someone else laugh
TONYSAC

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Reply with quote  #2 
PRICELESS!!!!
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Anthony
Garden city park, Long Island NY 11040 Zone 7b : 5 to 10 (F) (Nassau) FIGS4FUN1@aol.com Im here to help Crazy80z28 on Ebay
Wish list... Hmmm more room.
TucsonKen

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Reply with quote  #3 
I don't often laugh out loud at something I read, but you got me!
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Ken
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JoAnn749

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Reply with quote  #4 
That was a hoot!!!!   LOL LOL LOL
Thanks!  Tears rolled down my cheeks!

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Jo-Ann DFW TX, Zone 7b-8a Wish List: Black Madeira,, Kathleen's Black, Malta Black, Marseille VS Black, White Paradisio, LSU Scott's Black, Conadria, White Trianna, Marttineca Rimada, Excel, Peter's Honey, Bebera Preta (Abebereira), Strawberry Verte
BLB

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Reply with quote  #5 
So glad you enjoy this little story and I wish it were me that did this. I also laughed out loud when I first read it. I have an old band buddy to thank for this one
Gina

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Reply with quote  #6 
Hee, hee...  That is funny no matter where the story came from.
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Reply with quote  #7 
So Barry, You like Poodles



luke
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Reply with quote  #8 
Berry You are unbelievable LoL.

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Eden
DesertDance

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Reply with quote  #9 
Amazing!  Walmart....  Another world!  Loved it!!

Suzi

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pitangadiego

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Reply with quote  #10 
Some questions just deserve an answer like that.
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snaglpus

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Reply with quote  #11 
Love it! Great response! I gota share that one with my weight watcher friends!
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Dennis
Charlotte, North Carolina/Zone 8a 

gorgi

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Reply with quote  #12 
Very funny!
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George, NJ_z7a.
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Reply with quote  #13 
too funny Barry!!!
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 All my figs have been exposed to  FMV,some have it, some don't. It doesn't seem to bother them so it doesn't bother me.
dawgdrvr

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Reply with quote  #14 
That is too funny ;-)
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Cody
Grand Mound,WA 98579
Plantmaps Zone 7~A, Sunset Zone 4 and USDA Zone 8~A.

WISH LIST: San Pedro ,Breba & Early crop Figs and ANY figs from 'Belleclare Nursery'
ChillyNPhilly

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Reply with quote  #15 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BLB
<span class="userContent">So I'm at Walmart buying a bag of Purina dog food for my dogs. While in the check-out line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog food, RIGHT??? So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again, and that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intens...ive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Better watch what you ask me and be prepared for my answer. I have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. Now that you've read this I have to confess, I copied it now copy and share make someone else laugh</span>


Here's what I was towkin about Barry:) I shoulda read a little further down.

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Donna
Philadelphia Zone 7
saxonfig

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Reply with quote  #16 
Laughed so hard I thought I was going to have a sillygism!!

I think this story alone would be a good diet for my wife because she was laughing her butt off when I read it to her - Ta-Ching-Boom!!

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Fig Well And Prosper!

Bill - SW KY. Zone 6b. 36.5N 
I'm fruitnut on ebay.
NZFig

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Reply with quote  #17 
LOL priceless! I cant stop laughing, dont you just love smart questions like that...
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Dan
Auckland N.Z
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Reply with quote  #18 
Hey Barry,

Lay off the legs.
Dieseler

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Reply with quote  #19 
Good one Barry !
HarveyC

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Reply with quote  #20 
Facebook material ;)
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Harvey - Correia Farms
Isleton, CA (Sacramento County) USDA zone 9b, Sunset zone 14

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BLB

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Reply with quote  #21 
Chilly, I totally forgot I posted this. I got it from a facebook friend who is one of the funniest guys I know, glad everyone enjoyed it!  
Dieseler

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Reply with quote  #22 
Might you have any fig related jokes , course that first one may be hard to top.
hoosierquilt

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Reply with quote  #23 
Okay, that was totally hysterical.  I'm still laughing.  Don't you wish you could think of these things when someone asks you a question like that?  Priceless.
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Patty S.
Vista, CA
USDA 10a/Sunset 23- "Best Weather in the USA"
jenniferarino83

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Reply with quote  #24 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BLB
So glad you enjoy this little story and I wish it were me that did this. I also laughed out loud when I first read it. I have an old band buddy to thank for this one


Hahahaha!!!!! Omg I shared this on my FB. Told my friends via text about the story. They loved it. I copied and pasted too.

I added you to FB :-)

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Jennifer A. Brown 
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musillid

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Reply with quote  #25 
Barry,

   Your story reminded me of my father. Not known for his humor, he was a master of the set-up and could make you feel real small real quick with knock-out punchlines. Thanks for the laugh.

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Dale
non compost mentis in Zone 6a
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